Jock Itch WISN-TV will now be all Dancing With The Stars and Donald Driver, all the time

Wisconsin moms and hardcore fans of Tom Bergeron were beside themselves last night as Green Bay Packers wide receiver Donald Driver made his debut on ABC’s Dancing With The Stars. Driver did the cha-cha with comely partner Peta Murgatroyd, and earned respectable, if slightly underwhelming, scores. (The New York Daily News called Driver “very charismatic,” and applauded his “fantastic showmanship that disguised his still-awkward dance moves.” Yay?)

Of course, Milwaukee’s ABC affiliate, WISN-TV (Channel 12), devoted approximately 8,000 hours of coverage to the momentous event. The hype culminated in a fawning Stephanie Sutton interview, in which Driver implored Packers Nation to vote for him (message and data rates may apply), and Murgatroyd pretended to know just what the fuck Driver was talking about. Not that the over-the-top coverage hurt Channel 12: The Journal Sentinel’s Duane Dudek reports that Driver’s performance drove the show’s local ratings “through the roof,” earning it more than three times as many viewers as its closest competitor. The station will likely ride the dancing-Driver gravy train for as long as the superstar remains in the competition (he’s scheduled to do the foxtrot next week!) or until the American public officially throws in the towel and just gives it to that Urkel kid.