A highly publicized pie-fucking episode aside, there's nothing the least bit surprising or original about this week's teen sex comedy, American Pie. Essentially a northern Varsity Blues minus the football and the big fat guy with the pig, American Pie tells the story of four poorly differentiated high-school boys who make a pact to lose their virginity before prom. There's the one who inexplicably looks like a 27-year-old underwear model, the one who engages in the aforementioned pie-ophilic sexual activity, the one who's sort of a UPN version of Jason Schwartzmann's character in Rushmore, and the one who was in Rookie Of The Year. Enthusiastically vulgar in a manner more reminiscent of late-period Porky's films and early Fox sitcoms than its apparent model, There's Something About Mary, American Pie is filled with situations, characters, and plot twists usually found only in Playboy Party Jokes and mid-'70s porn films. In one scene, a female foreign-exchange student—who looks eerily like a jaded, twentysomething Eurotrash porn star—finds herself in the pie-fucking guy's bedroom, takes off her clothes, and starts masturbating furiously, activities transmitted via the Internet to every high-school student in the area. Of course, to require some sort of motivation or logic to underpin a scene like that would be to expect just a little too much of American Pie. Likewise, it might also ask too much to expect the movie not to always go for the cheapest, most obvious joke possible in any given situation. American Pie does include a handful of funny moments, but the same could probably be said of any two-hour stretch of Benny Hill reruns.