Ask most Americans who they remember from the first season of Survivor, and chances are they’ll say Colleen, Rich, or Rudy—the fresh-faced pixie; the naked, gay villain; or the crotchety, old tough guy. Yet in revisiting the series, I’ve been struck by what non-entities Colleen and Rudy actually are, especially compared to Richard. In “Old And New Bonds,” however, Colleen and Rudy are finally beginning to become real forces on the island.
But what makes her so great is her willingness to stand up to Richard, a man who weighs at least 2.5 times as much as she does. Yes, she’s adorable, but Colleen’s also got sass, pluck, cheek, moxie—whatever a character in a 1935 screwball comedy would call it. First, she observes (accurately, if you ask me) that Richard is intentionally overreacting to Rudy’s burned fish as a way of exerting control over the other tribe members. “Go home and go get your liposuction,” she
Colleen also wins her first challenge this episode, narrowly beating Kelly on a crazy spider web thingamabob that looks pretty fun. As a reward, she is treated to an American-style barbecue, complete with hotdogs, hamburgers, and Bud Lite, and she gets to read a letter from home. When Jeff Probst tells Colleen she also gets to bring a friend along, she instantly chooses Jenna, which is a nice gesture. When it comes to eating animals, Colleen’s a little hypocritical—if she’s grossed out watching a ray killed with a dull knife, then she definitely doesn’t want to see where those hot dogs came from—but hey, she’s also about 15 years old and more or less starving at this point. While gorging, Colleen once again proposes a counter-alliance. “Why are we sitting back and watching it happen?” she asks Jenna. They decide it’s time to fight back by forming a voting bloc with Gervase and, possibly, Sean (more on this later). Their first target? Richard. Sure, he catches fish but, as Gervase aptly puts it, “Get rid of Rich and we all starve together.”
Now I’d like to conclude by discussing Sean, whose abject stupidity continues to
A genius, that one.
- I’ll leave it to you guys to comment on her post-Survivor infamy, but I, for one, will miss Jenna.
- It’s a tough call, but this may be the creepiest thing Richard has said so far: “They’re not voting me off because I’m not letting them.”
- I was kind of surprised by how readily Rudy wore the immunity talisman. I expected some grumbling about the “queer” accessory.
- Susan is a nightmare, but she’s also kind of fascinating. Notice how angry she gets when she sees Kelly hanging out and being girly with the younger women on the island. In a way, it’s a little sad. Initially Kelly and Susan seemed to share a bond because they’re both tough, industrious tomboys, but now Kelly’s broken from the alliance and doing her hair. It’s no wonder Susan felt so betrayed.
- ’Rexie watch: Colleen is really beginning to look skeletal, isn’t she?
- Watch this episode, or most of it, here.