Interview Toronto Batman

“If you devote yourself to an ideal,” Ra’s al Ghul once told Batman-in-training Bruce Wayne, “You become something else entirely—a legend.” Toronto’s own Batman, known to Torontonians and tourists alike who pass through Yonge and Dundas Square, may not yet be a legend. But he’s become the next best thing—a viral video sensation. 

Toronto Batman teamed up with director Sean Ward to make a “Shit Batman Says”-style video in and around Toronto (or Gotham North, as Batman calls it). But their video became something else entirely. “Batman’s Night Out” features Toronto Batman patrolling Toronto: barking at patrons in Starbucks, riding the subway, and grappling with his apparent arch-nemesis, an impossible-to-open stick of beef jerky. Since being posted on YouTube on Feb. 17, the video has racked up hundreds of thousands of views, with no sign of slowing down.

The A.V. Club got in touch with Toronto Batman (via the Toronto Bat-signal... not really) and talked to him about his newfound fame, the particulars of fighting crime in Gotham North, and the trouble with beef jerky. (And no, we don’t give away his secret identity.)

The A.V. Club: So, Batman, how long have you been patrolling Gotham North?

Toronto Batman: Forever. I’ve always been there. There is no beginning. There is no end.

AVC: Why is it just now that the videos are coming out?

TB: Because people need to know that they are being watched over. And that I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Batman. And my parents are dead.

AVC: Have people been swearing allegiance to you, as you demand they do in the video?

TB: A few of them. But there are always people who think they’re tougher than they are. There’s always one or two that act tougher than they are. I can feel their blood boiling with fear.

AVC: Like a lot of people, we were shocked to see you riding the TTC in the video. Do you not have a Batmobile?

TB: I wanted to be economically friendly. I want the entire city to be safe. That and it’s hard to find parking.

AVC: In “Batman’s Night Out” you can be seen patrolling around City Hall and Queen’s Park. Is there a lot of corruption in Toronto politics you’re trying to root out?

TB: Oh, there’s one in particular. He looks a lot like Oswald Cobblepot. I don’t have to say his name. But let’s just say I don’t drive Ford.

AVC: Well we can probably piece that one together. Beyond corrupt politicians, what’s it like fighting crime in Toronto?

TB: I don’t call it “fighting crime.” It’s “a night out.” And it is what it is. It is every day. I don’t see crime. I just see justice and injustice. I am judge, jury, and executioner.

AVC: Anyone in particular you’re looking to execute?

TB: Anyone that goes against everything I stand for.

AVC: What is it you stand for? Is it the same values that define any other Batman?

TB: I am Toronto Batman, a part of Batman Incorporated. I swore my allegiance on a marking that was given to me by Batman himself. I was told that I am the line between good and evil.

AVC: With all due respect, though, it seems like you spend a lot of time posing for photos.

TB: Well, duty calls.

AVC: Can you say anything about the problems you’ve been having with beef jerky?

TB: They’ve never made beef jerky that’s easy to open! I don’t understand it! Why is there always the spicy ones but never the regular ones? And why is it so difficult to pry open?! I don’t understand it! Jesus Christ, they should have pre-opened beef jerky! It’s not that difficult!

AVC: This is something you can work towards, official Toronto Batman: Easy-open beef jerky.

TB: Yeah, you’re telling me.

AVC: What are your relations like with local law enforcement, Batman?

TB: They respect me. And they learn that if they park out of line, they will get a ticket. But they respect me, as I respect them—the ones who are not corrupt, of course.

AVC: We saw on your Facebook page that you spotted a police car parked in a no park zone.

TB: That’s correct.

AVC: Did you give them hell?

TB: A ticket was issued. I’ll see them at City Hall in few months.

AVC: You issue tickets? What other kind of stuff do you keep in your utility belt?

TB: That’s not for me to reveal. But if you cross me, you will see for yourself.

AVC: Let’s hope that doesn’t happen. Are you at all worried about anyone giving away your secret identity?

TB: No. I will die with the cowl. My name is Toronto Batman. Nothing else matters now.

AVC: You’re very insistent on reminding people that your parents are dead. It may be a sore subject, but how did that happen, exactly?

TB: I’m not telling you anything! My parents are dead and that’s it!