Entourage: "Bottoms Up"
C+

Entourage: "Bottoms Up"

C+

Entourage

"Bottoms Up"

Season 7, Episode 5

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How lucky was it that the clients Ari had to HJ were celebrities available to appear in Entourage tonight? Yes, luck indeed. Oy. Does the show just see who's bored on Facebook and then write episodes around them?

Yes, not only did we get cameos from Mike Tyson, Jessica Simpson, and Aaron Sorkin all over MGA (and Saget in E's office and his own house), but tonight marked the beginning of Sasha Grey as Vince's girlfriend, playing Sasha Grey. The two meet cute at a bar because Sasha's, like, totally a reader and Vince isn't and it's just so crazy, you know because SHE'S A PORN STAR GET IT? So Vince is into the whole thing, the two have weird sex (probably), and the next morning Grey proves herself to be just one of the guys—tequila shots in the AM; jokes about the shocker laughed at; pancakes shaped like penises. Vince is elated, and a little bit drunk, so his meeting with Stan Lee (yet another celeb) doesn't go very well. E's annoyed but says Vince still has the part. Man, Grey is the worst Yoko Ono ever. That's what they were going for, right? Because if not, that would mean Grey's some pleasant presence in Vince's life, and we all know there aren't many of those on the hardscrabble Entourage streets.

(Or maybe Vince is going to become addicted to Vicodin? Waiting a few weeks to bring it up doesn't count as suspense, guys.)

Speaking of hardscrabble…anal sex. It happens almost. Drama and Turtle of all people make fun of E at the bar for never having tried it. "The vagina's my third favorite hole," Drama proclaims directly to the libidos of nubile ladies everywhere. Regardless, E's intrigued enough to look it up on Wikipedia of all places, and Sloan finds it just adorable. (Saget overhearing just part of E's conversation and immediately knowing it was about anal sex? Amazing. He gets a free pass from cameo overload backlash.) Then they try it. "Is it in yet?" "You sure you're okay?" Let us never speak of that scene again.

Then there was Ari, always appearing when he's least wanted and never straying from his most broad strokes. This week promised a sort of return to form: Lizzie is poaching Ari's clients, so he decides to go door-to-door, meeting-to-meeting and woo them like in the olden days. He even brings Lloyd along so we can all pretend it's four seasons ago and this schtick isn't a snoozer yet. He sweet talks Sorkin, delivers a puppy to Simpson, and has this really odd scene with a poorly acting Tyson, even for Entourage. It all amounts to a hill of beans when Ari gets a call from Amanda—Lizzie in the background—claiming she and Lizzie are finally going to end that toupée-wearing, sushi-shoveling no-neck once and for all, and we get that sense of impending doom two weeks too late.

But despite being the weakest plot thus far, it's the only one with any steam left. E and Scott have made up, what once was Drama's part might be going to Saget because it's called showbusiness not showfriends, Turtle already got Vince to endorse his tequila line, and E prefers the vagina. All that's left is for Turtle and Alex to "make out all night," and the show's pretty much done.

Oh, wait.

Filed Under: TV, Entourage

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