Having exhausted nearly every sort of crisis imaginable on the show’s inexplicably long run, this episode of Entourage revolved around a hair crisis. I know what you’re thinking: Pubic, right?
That would have at least been surprising, thus it has no place here. Instead, we see Vince wake up without a lady in his bed for the first time ever, scratching his scruffy locks like he’s just some kid from Queens or something. (He’s. Just. Like. Us!!!!!!!) He’s on the phone with E, and says something about a haircut. It’s pretty subtle—I’m not sure if you picked up on it. Well, long story short, that ragamuffin cuts his own hair, and even though Vince said Nick Cassavetes was alright with it, he wasn’t, and now he wants to do some reshoots. There’s Drama, but really there’s no real drama.
Honestly, until those final few minutes, I was actually digging “Buzzed.” I know, saying you were enjoying an episode of Entourage is a faux pas akin to admitting you still watch Entourage and saying things like, “The world feels much more manageable with your pants off.” But there was a point in the episode where Vince was engaged in the most boring press junket of all mankind (“Since you brought it up…” the reporter used as a segue when Vince mentioned the film he’s currently shooting, said with the casual elegance of a piece of doodee floating in the river Styx) and he has the tossaway line of, “It’ll probably end up sucking.” Vince commits a tragic no-no in the showbiz world, but shrugs it off anyways. He was just making a joke—albeit a flat-liner one that’s like a dementor of laughter. Yet of course, the world comes flaming down because, gosh, you just don’t do that. Shauna flips out. E flips out. Vince shrugs. It’s Entourage meets Family Matters: “Did I do that?” Kind of like the old days.
Meanwhile, in Ari land, he’s freaking out about the NFL people coming in to his office, meaning he dumps his wife by the side of the road and flies into work demanding action—and tops buttoned up because “It’s the NFL, not the NBA.” Possessed-Ari is one of the only Aris I can tolerate; this storyline could have been a lot worse.
But there are other characters who get stage time inexplicably. Like, has the show truly run out of things for Turtle to do? He spends the entire episode chasing after I’m-not-bothering-to-learn-her-name former Heroes girl, with him being creepy as shit and her not wearing a bra. “I like to be liked, and I hate to be hated,” he says at one point, like he’s all sensitive now. Even Drama, having suggested the requisite to the strip club for the requisite boobies, had exceeded his usefulness and remained mostly in the sidelines.
No, clearly, this was Vince’s episode. And the only way to ruin some of that good mojo would be to, I dunno, minimize all the paranoia and immediacy by revealing that, no, it wasn’t Vince’s comment making Cassavetes angry, but his freakin’ haircut. Whoop-dee-freakin-do. Maybe throw in some not-so-subtle hints about him being an adrenaline junkie now, seeking out sky diving and organ donation like they’re Halloween Skittles. That one stunt two weeks ago was enough to set that all in motion? I'd be curious how this is going to affect the show, but my guess is it’ll be done in a week.
I'm not quite sure why I fall for Entourage's tricks each time around, but I do. The show has an uncanny ability to discover new ways its characters can freak out each time. But after a while, everything being important means nothing is important. It's rare I'd be a proponent for a show to tackle less each week, but I feel like Entourage could benefit from a problem without an easy answer, one that takes multiple weeks to resolve and lets its characters be tested a little. Seven seasons later, though, Entourage just can't bring itself to do that. It's always sunny in Los Angeles, it seems.