Entourage: First Class Jerk
B

Entourage: First Class Jerk

B

Entourage

First Class Jerk

Season 5, Episode 8

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I expected last week's big cliffhanger to play itself out over a few weeks, not just half an hour–and I have to say I'm a little disappointed that everything wrapped up so neatly on this week's Entourage, because after the will-he-or-won't-he end to last week, I actually found myself interested in what would happen next. But this week's episode wrapped everything up with a neat little bow, which was even acknowledged right there in the script. Everybody was–in theory, anyway–back to where they started: Vince was a movie star, Ari was an agent, and Turtle was "pussy-less."
So I guess this ep was all about the reasons for those things, and it was well-paced and not completely predictable (just partially predictable), which hearkens back the Entourage of old, at least a little bit. So the boys are returning from Hawaii and Ari is returning from Switzerland, where he's been wooed by the bigwig to be the new studio head. (Apparently HBO didn't want to pony up and actually send anybody anywhere, because we don't actually see anybody anywhere except airports and fake planes.)
Speaking of fake planes (which I was, in case you don't read parentheticals), the guys get three coach tickets and one first class, with Turtle lucking out and getting the good ticket. By a twist of charm and fate, he ends up seated next to Jamie-Lynn Sigler, a.k.a. Meadow Soprano. They hit it off, and Turtle–when he reconnects with the boys at the baggage claim–is uncharacteristically mum about it. It's clear that he really likes her and that maybe she even likes him. ("Home and cell, bro.") But then Turtle makes a wicked mistake: He tells Drama that Meadow jerked him off on the plane. (Dude, Tony's gonna whack you whether it's true or not–be careful!)
The episode's great mystery, of course, was whether he was telling the truth or not. Was Turtle trying to be manly (and lying) or trying to brag (and telling the truth)? In either case, I think he would have pulled Drama aside and threatened to kill him when he started telling everyone who would listen (the waiter, etc.) about Turtle's conquest–especially if it was true. Small town, that Hollywood. And of course we knew it would come back to bite him in the ass.
But first, Frank Darabont! Holy shit, I hope the commenter who's fake obsessed with Darabont caught his kinda-stupid guest appearance tonight. Red herring Josh Weinstein set up a meeting with Darabont and the boys, but he pulled the ol' bait and switch (unbeknownst to Darabont) and tried to steer Vinny into a TV show. No dice.
Meanwhile, Ari has a big decision to make, and the simple fact that he's even considering it pisses off everybody at his agency, none more than Lloyd. Another dumb plot point, though: Everybody at the agency knows that Ari got a $10 million offer because the bigwig FAXED it to him? C'mon. At some point in here it becomes clear that Ari really doesn't want the job: He still wants to be his own boss, he wants to sexually harass Lloyd, and he loves his clients too much. But when he learns that Amanda Daniels–his nemesis–will get the job if he doesn't, he tries to bargain with her. She doesn't go for it, and Ari says he's going to take the job just to spite her. (Which would've been awesome.)
Instead, he somehow finagles the job for our old pal Dana Gordon. What a decent scene that could've been, though, right? Ari trying to talk this incredibly powerful dude into not taking his first or second choice, but giving it to a third person who maybe wasn't even in the running? But that's the kind of smoothness we need to get the boys back to point A, apparently.
Finally, in the show's big punchline, Meadow shows up at the club where the fellas are hanging out, and throws a drink in Turtle's face. Drama tries to make things right by chasing after her, telling her that he made it all up, that it wasn't Turtle's fault… And then the big reveal: She did give Turtle a handjob on the plane, and she even says she would've fucked him, too. When Drama returns to give Turtle the good/bad news, I so wanted Turtle to punch Johnny in the face. Please, just once, those guys need to have it out. But that would've spoiled a tidy ending. An ending, in fact, that doesn't really seem to open up any new storylines. I didn't watch the "next week on" teaser, so I'll be ready for a surprise then–as long as the surprise isn't named Dom.
Grade: B
Stray observations
-- Josh Weinstein: "Shawshank makes me wish I did prison time."
-- Ari: "You throw a lot of Jew guilt for a Chinaman."
-- Dana Gordon, on speakerphone: "I'll rub your cock like it's 1990."
-- Turtle calling Drama an "angry old fuck" was pretty great.

Filed Under: TV, Entourage

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