6 characters from musicals that would make relatively non-wussy Halloween costumes
This brave little toaster could be "you" if you man up for it.
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Come clean: There’s at least one musical that you secretly enjoy. Sure, musicals are often stigmatized as corny, insufferably jolly, and too madcap for their own good; but there’s inevitably one every couple of years that makes you reconsider your decision to disown the genre altogether. With the mother of all Halloween musicals, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, playing Friday and Saturday at the Uptown Theatre, The A.V. Club rummaged through the vault of musical filmmaking to find six characters that would make not completely embarrassing costumes. (A pre-emptive “sorry you’re not on the list” to Rocky Horror buffs—you guys dress up like Tim Curry every other day of the year anyway.)
Character: The Beast from Disney’s Beauty And The Beast
Why you shouldn’t be ashamed to go as him: The Beast is all class, a fine and pleasant noble, but unlike other upper-class Disney pansies like Prince Charming or Jafar, he can rip out people’s bowels.
How to dress like him: A great way to pull off the Beast is to wear a 19th-century-looking suit with a Chewbacca mask. (Be sure to carry around a bloody candlestick and a broken teapot.)
If it’s not well-received, you can say you’re actually: Chewbacca at Han Solo and Princess Leia’s wedding.
Character: Ben Rumson, played by Lee Marvin in the 1969 film Paint Your Wagon
Why you shouldn’t be ashamed to go as him: Marvin, in general, was the unsentimental badass type. Even as a drunken prospector with a couple of lower octave-rattling vocal solos in Paint Your Wagon, you half expect him to challenge Clint Eastwood to a knife fight at any moment.
How to dress like him: If you don't have a beard, start growing! Find some raggedy clothes and an old-timey hat at the local thrift store, and for full effect, drench them in whiskey.
If it’s not well-received, you can say you’re actually: A hobo; Abbey Road-era George Harrison.
Character: The toaster from The Brave Little Toaster
Why you shouldn’t be ashamed to go as him: The Brave Little Toaster is a rare treat, a movie that's chock-full of cute sentimentalities but still brilliantly imaginative. It's largely remembered as the film that taught America to love meaningless material possessions again.
How to dress like him: Find an old leather suitcase, paint it silver, and cut a hole in the bottom for your body to slip through. Attach a plug, if possible. Have toasted bread ready to hand out—people are gonna want a side of toast to complement their handfuls of Snickers bars and candy necklaces.
If it’s not well-received, you can say you’re actually: A toast-making robot; an electric suitcase.
Character: Ren McCormack, played by Kevin Bacon in Footloose
Why you shouldn’t be ashamed to go as him: If you have moves like Kevin Bacon, you’re the coolest kid at any Halloween party 25 years ago! Just make sure you’re dancing for a rebellious cause, like the right to devour 12 bags of sour Gummi Bears in one night.
How to dress like him: All you need is white tank top tucked into some tight blue jeans, a Walkman that plays Kenny Loggins on a loop, and a clear disdain for John Lithgow. Lean nonchalantly against a wall in between moments of frenzied jump-dancing.
If it’s not well-received, you can say you’re actually: Emilio Estevez; Andy Samberg from the Hot Rod forest dance scene.
Character: Puss In Boots, played by Christopher Walken in the little-known 1988 film Puss In Boots
Why you shouldn’t be ashamed to go as him: No worries: Freaking everybody loves Christopher Walken. The uncool Walken role does not exist; he could make Joseph Stalin a likeable, oft-quoted character.
How to dress like him: Dye your hair brownish-red, grow a weird, whiskery mustache, and dress in a puffy orange suit. Once you’ve found a suitable pair of boots and fingerless gloves, study up on the endless supply of Walken impressions available on the Internet.
If it’s not well-received, you can say you’re actually: Bombalurina from Cats; the dude from The Continental.
Character: King Triton from The Little Mermaid
Why you shouldn’t be ashamed to go as him: Dude carries around a trident, for one, and he’s king of the sea, which is, like, 87 percent of the world or something.
How to dress like him: Well, hopefully you’ve got a well-sculpted physique, because King Triton is a shirtless kind of a king. Wielding a trident is a must, and a Santa Claus beard would work perfectly. If you manage to find tail fins to prop yourself in, you’ll probably find yourself unable to stand. The A.V. Club recommends making your roommates carry you around on a throne. Problem solved.
If it’s not well-received, you can say you’re actually: Poseidon, Greek god of the sea; Oprah Winfrey.
