News Net Brooklyn-based mono-sound chillwave artist releases ode to Ricky Rubio

Since sifting through dull newspapers, hyperbolic blogs, and overflowing RSS feeds for meaningful news can be an arduous process, News Net catches and compiles both the amusing and the significant reports that were overlooked throughout the weekend. Here are some things to think about as the workweek begins.

• There’s normally nothing too exciting about drug possession arrests, but then again, most of those stories don’t involve people named Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop. As it turns out, the Madison resident has been in trouble with the law before, however this is the first time since he changed his name from Jeffrey Drew Wilschke in October to the masterpiece of a moniker that we all wish we had thought of first.

• Sons of Anarchy may be over for the season, but fans of multiple generation gangs and shocking violence can get their fill with the unfolding saga of Joe Gustafson Sr. and his son as state prosecutors finally take on the men who have terrorized North Minneapolis as part of the “Beat Down Posse” for the last two decades. Gustafson Sr. is being charged with a whole mess of things—arsons, racketeering, kidnappings, assaults—and in the true spirit of family loyalty, his defense so far has been to blame his son. Gustafson may have sold his son down the river, but at least he’s man enough to face trial and avoid a 14-year sentence plea deal, stating simply, “I don’t want no deal.”

• Unseasonable warmth (yay!) is causing ice-fishing houses to sink all over the place in Minnesota, sending countless copies of Field And Stream magazine back into the murky depths they came from.

• We’re all a bit in love with Ricky Rubio’s easy-going charm and hair swoop here in Minnesota, but love for the charismatic Spanish point guard is even making its way to the East Coast, as experimental Brooklyn-based producer Oneohtrix Point Never has released an instrumental ode to the rising star, simply titled “Rubio.” We’re not entirely sure of the thematic connection to Rubio, but how nice that people are thinking of him as they make their mono-sound chillwave!

• And finally, residents of North Dakota are getting it on and getting it on in ways they never have before. At least since 1994.