Just Announced Get Shatnered at the Orpheum Theater in March

Life-long human meme William Shatner’s career is the stuff of legend, with a résumé that spans television (Star Trek, Star Trek: The Animated Series, Boston Legal, Shit My Dad Says, those Priceline ads), film (Star Treks 1-6, Star Trek Generations), books (TekWar, 10 of the extended-universe Star Trek novels), and horse breeding. And now, having accrued such a storied portfolio of (mostly Star Trek-related) experiences, The Shat is trotting around the country, wowing audiences full of nerds with his master lecturing talents. And by “lecturing,” we mean the 80-year-old Bill is doing a Robert Evans-style bragathon about his awesome life, entitled Shatner’s World: We Just Live In It, which sounds amazing. Included in this cross-continental “voyage” is a March 15 visit to the USS Orpheum, located deep within the Hennepin nebula, etc. For a mere 60 to 80 dollars, audience members will be treated to two hours of The William Shatner performing a glorified reading of his own Wikipedia page, which sounds like a really good deal if you’re drunk. So, in order to help the Orpheum’s ticket sales, here is The A.V. Club’s Official William Shatner Lecture Drinking Game:

• Take a drink every time he takes a jab at George Takei and/or James Doohan.

• Take a drink every time The Shat makes an awkward joke about Gene Roddenberry that ends up being kind of a joke about his own pigeonholed career if you think about it.

• Take a drink after every vocal pause of five seconds or more.*

*The A.V. Club is not liable for any alcohol-related deaths resulting from The A.V. Club’s Official William Shatner Lecture Drinking Game