Blog Legacy of joviality: 13 jokes about Glenn Danzig

To many, Glenn Danzig’s work as writer, singer, and producer of The Misfits, Samhain, and Danzig proves that he is an outstanding songwriter, an astute distiller of lowbrow pop culture, and a punk/metal icon. To others, his devotion to horror themes, bodybuilding, and brutality mark him as a humorless self-parody. Wary of the latter, we took the opportunity during a recent interview with Danzig (promoting his Blackest Of The Black Tour, which stops at the Cabooze on Tuesday) to ask him about his sense of humor. Though he said he rarely finds jokes at his expense funny, he made it clear that “people that know me know I have a sense of humor.” Though Danzig changed the subject before we could get into specifics, we got a pretty good impression of how he would feel about some of the most prominent parodies, tributes, and memes about the New Jersey native. Here’s a baker’s dozen of the best ones.

Danzig on Aqua Teen Hunger Force

The Joke: On the 2002 episode “Cybernetic Ghost Of Christmas Past From The Future,” Danzig guest stars as himself, buying Carl’s haunted house and watering the lawn with a blood-spurting sprinkler.
Funny?: Sure, it’s amusing to hear Danzig confront Master Shake with “I’m going to be eating my cereal out of the bottom of your fucking skull.”
Funny to Danzig?: Yes! When asked about what parodies he liked, Danzig replied, “[P]retty much I haven’t seen anything I think is funny. The Aqua Teen Hunger Force was cool. That’s about it.”

Danzig buys kitty litter

The Joke: Earlier this year a photo hit the Internet of Danzig buying groceries, including a big box of Fresh Step kitty litter.
Funny?: While, certainly, Danzig deserves to be an actual, normal human who shops and has pets, it’s pretty understandable how fans who see him as a mysterious creature that lives in a gothic castle with vampire strippers would be taken aback at the thought of Danzig scooping cat poop. Plus, he’s wearing a Danzig shirt. However, the music video of a Danzig impersonator singing his shopping list is less funny, in part because the impression is pretty weak. 
Funny to Danzig?: When we mentioned this meme, Danzig replied, “Look, everyone wants you to be what they want you to be, and they can all go fuck off. I don’t really care.”

The Misfats
The Joke: The now-defunct Misfats were an all-fat Misfits parody band, turning scary songs like “20 Eyes” and “Mommy, Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight?” into tasty tunes like “20 Pies” and “Mommy, Can I Go Out And Grill Tonight?”
Funny?: Well, that depends.
Funny to Danzig?: No fucking way. Danzig believes in both fitness and the sanctity of his music.

Chrisfits

The Joke: The “Ghouls Of Yule” turn Misfits songs into Christmas carols.
Funny?: These Canadian pranksters recreate the recording style of The Misfits pretty well on tunes like “Yuletide Business,” “Mommy Can I Go Out And Carol Tonight?” and “I Turned Into A Reindeer” in an amusing way.
Funny to Danzig?: “That stuff’s just so unimaginative it’s ridiculous.”

Henry And Glenn Forever
The Joke: A comic about Henry Rollins and Glenn Danzig being gay lovers.
Funny?: Done by a variety of artists from the Igloo Tornado art collective, the book’s quality varies. Some of it is kind of funny, but most of it is absurdist in a way that’s more funny-weird than funny-haha.
Funny to Danzig?: As a comics fan, Danzig would probably be more offended by the low quality of most of the art than by the gay stuff.

Misfits Halloween Tribute Bands

The Joke: Even before every band started pretending to be another band for Halloween shows, there were always a couple of Kiss and Misfits tribute bands playing. Over the years (maybe because they involve less pyro, makeup, and practice), depictions of Danzig seem to have overtaken Gene Simmons genuflections.
Funny?: Not so much funny as good-natured, these are genuine tribute bands honoring a serious influence. Ted Leo has fronted his Misfits band, TV Casualty, for the last few Halloweens, and he obviously isn’t kidding around.
Funny to Danzig?: Danzig knows how much influence he’s had, but unlike Gene Simmons, who keeps up with and even goes to see Kiss tributes, Danzig doesn’t seem to need these bands to affirm his greatness.

The Kissfits

The Joke: The Kissfits combine the two top Halloween bands into one massive novelty act.
Funny?: If you were high and told your friends this would be a great idea, everyone would laugh. But actually doing it is less funny, especially because this is more of a visual joke than anything lyrically or musically clever.
Funny to Danzig?: How could it be?

Danzig gets punched out

The Joke: In this video, Danzig gets in a confrontation with opening band North Side Kings and gets knocked down with one punch.
Funny?: More ironic than funny as Danzig has famously started a lot of fights onstage. The fight that starts here goes awry fairly quickly.
Funny to Danzig?: Of course not, but considering how theatrically he used fist fighting in The Misfits, he’d have to concede that it’s understandable why so many people watched and commented on this video.

Misfits meet The Nutley Brass

The Joke: This album compiles fully orchestrated lounge music versions of Misfits songs.
Funny?: It’s not as funny as it should be, but the excellent execution certainly proves how solid Danzig’s songwriting really is.
Funny to Danzig?: Though he wouldn’t find the music funny, the fact that this was officially released by the current Misfits on their label as, basically, a real Misfits album should amuse Danzig. Every post-Danzig Misfits record probably seems as silly as this to him.

Hamzig
The Joke: Canadian comic artist King Merinuk pokes gentle fun at Danzig’s height, obsession with horror, and love of comic books in this comic strip.
Funny?: Good cartooning always seems pretty funny—even when a Nancy or Lil’ Lulu or Peanuts strip falls flat, something still resonates as good humored. The skill Merinuk puts behind these strips puts him into that tradition.
Funny to Danzig?: Probably not—who likes short-jokes about themselves? But, as a comic book obsessive, he would have to admire the Wally Wood-esque art.

Shakira featuring Danzig “Hips Don’t Lie” video

The Joke: A visual mashup of Danzig videos and the Colombian sex bomb’s biggest hit, the clip mixes Shakira’s original lyrics with a bad Danzig impersonator singing lines like “You make Danzig want to speak Spanish / Burrito, Doritos, fiesta, antipasto.”
Funny?: Well, 6.5 million YouTube viewers apparently think so.
Funny to Danzig?: No way. The Danzig impersonator is absolutely horrible.

Misfits album cover parodies
The Joke: The iconic imagery on Misfits albums is pretty easy to parody, and several groups have done it, but none more successfully than Chicago’s Bollweevils, who enlisted graphic artist Alex Wald to lovingly recreate “Evilive” as “Weevilive.”
Funny?: The smiling bollweevil is pretty amusing.
Funny to Danzig?: Danzig is extremely proud of his graphic arts contributions to The Misfits, having gone to art school and photography school, so parodies of his designs might rub him the wrong way.

Kids In The Hall, “Some Days It’s Dark”

The Joke: In their 1996 feature film Brain Candy, the Canadian sketch comedians paint the bleak cultural landscape that requires the “brain candy” drug of the title by showing the success of depressed rock star Grivo, a Danzig lookalike played by Bruce McCulloch, who sings this song early in the film.
Funny?: Danzig’s funnier.
Funny to Danzig?: The fact that McCulloch doesn’t sound much like him, and that his dark music is supposed to represent clinical depression, would not resonate well with the real Danzig, who doesn’t see his music as a downer. “To be honest,” Danzig explained, “I don’t think any of my stuff is dreary. ... There’s always a serious side to anything that I do, but there’s always also the other side, too—the playful side.”