Oh, the guilt: 5 volunteer opportunities that will make the holidays go easier on your conscience

The holidays are a time for two things: 1) Goodwill toward men and women and 2) feeling guilty about the utter lack of goodwill toward men and women you show the rest of the year. Anyone who’s had to walk past a Salvation Army bell-ringer without any available change jangling in their pockets knows this feeling all too well. How do you rid of this feeling? Is there a special pill? A magic potion perhaps? Nope, try volunteering. Here are five great guilt-cleansing opportunities to make the holidays go a little easier on the your conscience this year.

If you're feeling guilty about: Your vainglorious sense of self-satisfaction as a biker.
Your guilt-cleansing volunteer opportunity: Sometimes it’s not just that someone is too hopelessly uncool for failing to ride a bicycle; it’s possible they simply can’t afford one. The first Monday of every month, the Sibley Bike Depot (712 University Ave., St. Paul) offers the opportunity to put your knowledge of bike mechanics to good use rather than lord it over your friends, helping repair bikes to provide transportation for low-income adults.
How to get involved:  Register as a volunteer at Hands On Twin Cities (handsontwincities.org), then stop by Sibley Bike Depot on the first Monday of the month from 5 to 8 p.m.

If you’re feeling guilty about: Limiting your rendition of “O Holy Night” to the shower.
Your guilt-cleansing volunteer opportunity: Inflict your talent on those who could use some cheering up. Gather your friends and sing some holiday favorites to the residents of The Salvation Army Harbor Light Center (1010 Currie Ave., 612-767-3100, http://www.usc.salvationarmy.org/usc/www_usc_minneapolisHL.nsf). You can go any time you want until Christmas Eve; just call ahead. Fake snow and choreography are not provided, so make sure you come prepared.
How to get involved: Contact Jennie Connors at 651-746-3426, or jennie_connors@usc.salvationarmy.org.

If you’re feeling guilty about: The High School Musical poster you bought and hung up “for your niece.”
Your guilt-cleansing volunteer opportunity: Detach yourself from delusion for the sake of someone in need, not to mention a little closer to Zac Efron’s age. Local nonprofit Tubman, an organization for families in distress, has set up a gift-giving program with drop-off points all around the Twin Cities. Register to give fun gifts, cash, or home necessities for kids and families.
How to get involved: Inquire about the program by calling at 612-825-3333 or visiting tubman.org, and in the meantime check out their website's gift-giving guide to see how you can contribute.

If you’re feeling guilty about: That fourth gastric bypass.
Your guilt-cleansing volunteer opportunity: If you could give the under-privileged flesh off your belly, you would. But you can’t, because that’s creepy and disgusting. What you can do is get with the folks at People Serving People (614 S. 3rd St., 612-332-4500, peopleservingpeople.org) and provide nourishment the old-fashioned way: by distributing it cafeteria-style. PSP looks for volunteers to serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner shifts 7:30-9 a.m., 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m., and 4:15-5:45 p.m.
How to get involved: Contact Lindsey Tiede at lindsey@peopleservingpeople.org or 612-277-0256.

If you’re feeling guilty about: Dramatic non-use of your bachelor’s degree.
Your guilt-cleansing volunteer opportunity: Turns out all those loans you’re paying off could have gone to building that bomb shelter after all—the Twin Cities Experimental College offers school for free. Students pay no tuition, classes take place anywhere there's an open room, and the teachers are all community volunteers eager to share their hard-earned lore. Are you secretly an expert on the works of Charles Darwin or improv comedy? Could you teach a class called “Science Is Cool”? Make a lesson plan, find a space, and EXCO will help you to share the shriveling fruits of your Humanities major.
How to get involved: Check out the Twin Cities Experimental College at excotc.org and go to straight to the source with any questions at excotc@gmail.com or 651-696-8010. Chapter meetings happen regularly at Macalester College, on the U of M campus, at MCTC, and the Waite House.