Replacements reuniting to headline Walker's Rock The Garden
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In a decisive one-upping of the recently announced Jayhawks reunion set at this year's Basilica Block Party, the Walker Art Center has revealed that the headliner for its upcoming June 20 Rock The Garden concert will be none other than The Replacements, performing together under the leadership of Paul Westerberg for the first time since 1991.
At a press conference held earlier this morning, Walker PR representatives waxed enthusiastic about the news before introducing Westerberg for a brief statement and question-and-answer period. "For too many years, we at the Walker have been forced to suffer the humiliation of watching the church across the street draw thousands of Minnesotans who might otherwise have been spending their hard-earned dollars here instead, with our shiny metal walls and our fancy modern art. Well, now I think we're finally showing God who's boss."
Westerberg greeted the assembled reporters with his customary round of hugs and high-fives before explaining why his band, after many years of rumored reunions and plans that fell through, chose this particular moment to get back together. "I'd be lying if I said it wasn't about the money," he admitted. "But it's more than just the money; it's also the endorsement deals. I have always felt strongly about Verizon Wireless, and at last I have been given the chance to tell the world how I feel." He noted that the corporate naming rights to much of the Replacements' back catalog has already been sold, but assured fans that the changes would be barely noticeable, before launching into an acoustic version of his Let It Be classic, "How Do You Say Goodnight To A Blackberry Bold 9000 From AT&T."
Assembling all the surviving founding members of the group proved impossible, although guitarist Tommy Stinson was able to secure time off from his longtime gig with Guns N' Roses by telling GNR leader Axl Rose that he had plans to play golf that weekend. However, founding drummer Chris Mars has refused all offers for a reunion, preferring to concentrate instead on his successful career as a painter. In his place, Westerberg enlisted one of the foremost percussionists in modern rock, Meg White, luring her from The White Stripes by promising to fulfill her dream of a drum set consisting of 12 pairs of cymbals and no actual drums.
Besides The Replacements, Rock The Garden boasts another potentially thrilling reunion, though the details here are far sketchier: The three members of Hüsker Dü will appear together for the first time since breaking up in 1988. They will not, however, be playing music. Instead, the trio's famously acrimonious pair of songwriters and co-frontmen, Bob Mould and Grant Hart, will stand on opposite sides of the stage and glare at each other for 45 minutes, followed by a short break and then a 10-minute encore consisting of more glaring and, reportedly, obscene hand gestures. As the two will remain completely motionless and silent throughout the performance, the Walker has added a bit of visual flair by commissioning environmental artist Christo to wrap both musicians in tinfoil and a paste-like substance made out of old newspapers and taco sauce. While that is taking place, Hüsker bassist Greg Norton, who has largely given up music in favor of a career as a chef and restaurateur, will offer live cooking demonstrations on stage, handing out steaks, bratwurst and vegetarian kielbasa to audience members and bookending the performance with two 30-minute hibachi solos.
Director Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous) will film the concert for an IMAX release to be released later this year. Director Martin Scorsese will also film the concert, but just for the hell of it. "I had the cameras left over from shooting the Stones in Shine A Light, so why not?" he said.
[Update: Interested concertgoers may want to read this subsequent article.]
