Roll Call Roll out the Cracker Barrel: a very chain restaurant Thanksgiving

Even for those who are stranded on Thanksgiving and can’t summon the means to prepare a can-shaped blob of cranberry-flavored jelly and a Butterball turkey, there are still many levels of shame to plummet through. So let us not descend too far into a vortex that ends outside Jack In The Box in Nevada at 2 a.m. eating hot-sauce-soaked cardboard, but rather catch ourselves on a precipitous perch some levels above that ugly scene. It’s a relatively lofty place, even, where Thanksgiving at a chain restaurant is possible to carry off with quiet dignity, bolstered by a high level of ironic detachment, at which The A.V. Club excels. Here are two local offerings. And, if you're not in the mood for the chain route, there are a number of independent restaurants around town serving up the goods this Thanksgiving.

A buffet with coffee and gravy
At Old Country Buffet (or Hometown Buffet) the tables of food will feature the usual fried and baked hospitality in bulk, but also a special dinner with turkey, gravy, ham, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, beans, bread, and pumpkin pie. The room and its inhabitants are strange enough that lots of hot coffee could make this a David Lynchian tableau, hopefully with a dreamy and psychedelic fade to ultra-hot sex. But more likely it will just lead to gut rot.

A lazy turkey dinner
Planning for naps, lots of brandy-and-sugar drinks, and convincing Cousin Billy to drive fits in with an everything-is-taken-care-of Thanksgiving meal at Cracker Barrel. Turkey, baked ham, cranberry relish, sweet potato casserole, and pumpkin pecan streusel pie require little effort to consume or reject. And there are no dishes to do.