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South Park wants to know what you would give for Disney+

Image: South Park (Comedy Central )
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Now that South Park has hopefully gotten all of the shit out of its system this season, it’s back this week with a new target, streaming services. I have been hoping Trey and Matt would tackle this growing worldwide problem. We’re at code level dragon, I don’t even think One Punch Man could take care of this particular crisis, but Scott Malkinson’s dad believes he can. It’s like Oprah came to South Park this season because everyone has been getting their show within THE show. Last week it was the ladies, this week it’s time to spend some quality time with Scott Malkinson for episode 9, titled, “Basic Cable”.

A student, Sophia Gray, is introduced to the 4th-grade class. She loves the Mandalorian and has diabetes. Up until this point, Scott has been the only child in South Park—that we know of—who has diabetes, so he immediately wants her to be his girlfriend because they’re both diabetics. As soon as he gets home Scott asks his dad if they can get Disney+. He is met with a stern no from his dad. Mr. Malkinson works for Park County Cable and wants to keep the tradition of being 15 minutes late to the ridiculous 5-hour servicing window cable companies give and streaming services are ruining that tradition. The flashbacks of all the time spent waiting on someone to come out to install cable and internet all came flooding back to me during this episode.

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Scott tries to bond with Sophia during recess, but all she wants to talk about is the Mandalorian. An accurate reflection of life right now, honestly. He ends up agreeing to her coming to his house to watch the next episode because the other boys kept trying to talk to her during their conversation. Scott tries to get his dad to agree to get Disney+ again once he gets home, but Mr. Malkinson wants none of it. Two hundred twenty channels of basic cable are all he wants and needs. I remember a time when basic cable felt overwhelming because there were so many channels to chose from. Now that same feeling is repeating itself for me but in the form of streaming services. The more things change, they do stay the same.

Mr. Malkinson and the rest of his colleagues make a plan to put an end to everyone’s streaming. They are the ones who installed the cable for the internet used to stream after all. While they do everything from hair cuts to seeing movies instead of carrying out their plan, Scott ends up trading an entire carton of insulin for a Disney+ account and password. I admittedly laughed at the absurdity of it all, although the overall thirst for Disney+ before the streaming service launched felt that extreme. Disney was offering preorders of it—something that happened in real life—and is just as absurd as trading an entire box of insulin for it. I mean, its a streaming service, not 1996's Tickle Me Elmo. A shortage wasn’t going to happen, but the hype was real.

It seems like Scott might have finally gotten a win. Sophia comes over to watch the Mandolorian, but all they get a glimpse of is Baby Yoda holding a cup—I don’t care, I’m calling it Baby Yoda—before the stream starts messing up. Again, I laughed, because, at times, it feels like no one has actually watched the Mandalorian, but everyone does know about Baby Yoda. Unfortunately for Scott, it turns out Mr. Malkinson and his cable crew finally get around to carrying out their plan to disrupt everyone’s’ streaming.

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Scott and Sophia go to Jimmy’s house to watch The Mandalorian, but the stream messes up there too. Someone mentions going to Token’s house which prompts another show-within-the-show gag, this time it’s a show about the Blacks and the Whites families. I would absolutely not watch that show. They all end up going to Sophia’s where Scott has a meltdown prompting Sophia to go off on all of the boys for being all up on her training bra-strap since she first arrived.

Afterward, Sophia finds Scott at the playground, and the two finally bond over their diabetes. The episode ends with Sophia telling Scott she actually likes the Scott Malkinson show, and we get a message from Trey about calling Comedy Central to make it an actual thing. No, Trey, I don’t think I will. However, I did enjoy this episode quite a bit.

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Stray Observations

  • I wonder if Trey Parker and Matt Stone have ever pitched a separate ongoing series for any of the South Park characters at some point over the last 22 years.
  • South Park has been on television for 22 years.
  • Yes, I still want to go back to Tegridy Farms. I need to know what new weed strains Randy and Towelie have created.
  • There is only a matter of time before there is a Comedy Central Plus streaming app.
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