Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
allisonshoemaker
Allison Shoemaker
allisonshoemaker
Contributor, The A.V. Club and The Takeout. Allison loves TV, bourbon, and overanalyzing social interactions. Please buy her book, How TV Can Make You Smarter (Chronicle, 2020). It’s short!

Alright, who the hell is Kyle? I’ve never heard of him, have any of you? He didn’t speak any lines during the episode. Did the producers just put a random dude in there to fill a seat, thinking we wouldn’t notice that he was a total stranger? Would it make any difference if that were true? Read more

Your commitment to the dildo-drink-clinking gif is just *chef’s kiss.* Read more

I just find it hilarious that he goes from basically choking on inhaled cake right to the makeout .... There’s no way that was a decent kiss, dude couldn’t breathe! lmao Read more

So...this is the first time I’ve read one of these “Bachelor food” articles, even tho I’ve seen them posted for some time now. I’ve never seen a single episode of the show. Read more

I was with you til the end there...cuz, accurate or not, this phrasing is just a big nope: “Food tastes great off of someone’s skin.” Read more

While watching, as an ex-Muslim, I kept thinking “this may be the first time I am watching Muslim men just being bros on prime tv”, it was a thing of beauty and I am glad they actually referred to it and made it a part of Behrad’s personality. Read more

The show that made an ongoing, serious-business storyline out of Gary’s nipple being consumed by a malevolent, hallucinogen-spewing unicorn*? Read more

I didn’t even know absolut acai was a real thing these days. I was 20 when that aired. Crazy times! GOLDEN CHILD Read more

Kylie’s rendition of Steven Tyler was both sexy and hilarious, I loved it. Kylie and Trinity embodied their icon the best Read more

Kylie’s rendition of Steven Tyler was both sexy and hilarious, I loved it. Kylie and Trinity embodied their icon the best, but Jan gave a solid performance even though I think she lost Gaga after the piano part. Jan definitely had a better runway look than Trinity though. Read more

Ginger should have taken her place simply because ‘Geronimo’ is a horrid song for anyone to cover. Read more

The broccoli meal looks sad, they need better stagers.  Read more

It’d be interesting to see if the producers could create a show that has drama and intrigue without needing to edit in a villain constantly. Read more

the kid never ralphs after eating the cake in Matilda, that was the whole point of the scene, wasn’t it? he beats her at her “punishment” Read more