Statistically, two to three percent of these mugs are complete shams. (Photo: Sean Gallup/Getty Images)

Social media behemoth Facebook has released some new numbers, and while they contain surprising information, it still doesn’t address the fact that Jeremy is obviously a total phony who isn’t actually your friend and just used you to get an “in” with your boss.

Business Insider reports Mark Zuckerberg’s company has released its third-quarter earnings statement, and amid the usual news about Facebook being more profitable than most countries were some noteworthy details. First of all, the business has raised its estimate of how many of its accounts are duplicates, from six percent to 10 percent, or roughly 207 million accounts. Similarly, the estimates for fake accounts (non-existent people or ones not associated with a real account) have also risen, from 1 percent to between two and three percent. Since Facebook has a total of 2.07 billion monthly users, that comes to approximately 60 million fake accounts—and that doesn’t even include those people from high school who are total fakes and just friended you to try and validate their own need to pretend they weren’t jerks back then.

Advertisement

The increase was attributed to “a new methodology for duplicate accounts” that improved the ability to identify duplicate or fake accounts via data analysis. While this may help Facebook with the accuracy of its tools for advertisers, and the number of users it can target with campaigns, it does nothing about Colleen and her passive-aggressive mission to get your friends on her side in that stupid comments debate about the class reunion. She said you’re being paranoid? Ha! Would a paranoid person have irrefutable proof that that whole group of friends are total fakes, based on the way they treated you in a weirdly formal way at the office party last month?

Regardless, Facebook is basically admitting up to 13 percent of its users either don’t exist or are duplicates. Perhaps the fourth-quarter earnings reports can acknowledge the number of political posts that everyone scrolls past as quickly as possible.