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Inspector Gadget Vs. Tetsuo: The Iron Man

With Disney's big-budget adaptation of Inspector Gadget now in theaters, a new generation can experience the antics of everyone's favorite atrociously animated, lazily written superhero. But if Gadget seems familiar, perhaps it's because he shares a number of eerie similarities to another '80s phenomenon, Japanese cult-film favorite Tetsuo: The Iron Man. Here's a guide to help you tell the technologically enhanced superstars apart.

Tetsuo: The Iron Man

  • Meek Japanese man transformed through hideous cosmic accident into metallic monstrosity
  • Tetsuo's hellish existence reflects the bleak nightmare of post-industrial society
  • In one scene, hero's penis is transformed into a demonic, parasitic drill
  • Features many shots in which the camera gazes rapturously upon the twisted, rusted metal encasing Tetsuo's body
  • Tetsuo is pursued by a freakish metal woman who sodomizes him with a large metallic dildo
  • Producers failed to snag lucrative fast-food tie-in
  • Directed by eccentric writer-director-actor-editor-cinematographer Shinya Tsukamoto, the auteur behind The Adventures Of Denchu Kozo and Hiruko The Goblin
  • Protagonist horrified to find his organs mimicking the structure and functions of machines

Inspector Gadget

  • Bumbling security guard transformed into gadget-crazy superhero
  • Inspector Gadget's presence as subject of $90 million film reflects the bleak nightmare of corporate greed
  • At no point does hero's penis mutate into a demonic, parasitic drill
  • Features many shots in which the camera gazes rapturously upon the products manufacturers paid to have shown in the film
  • Inspector Gadget pursues former Ellen cast member Joely Fisher as a pretty scientist-lady
  • Inspector Gadget Happy Meals are available at all participating McDonald's outlets
  • Directed by David Kellogg, the auteur behind Cool As Ice
  • Audiences horrified to find Matthew Broderick aping The Cable Guy costar Jim Carrey

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