Your attention, please: The Minnesota skyscraper raccoon is safe 

The public held its breath yesterday as news broke of the most momentous event in recent memory—one whose outcome would forever change our world. It had nothing to do with international diplomacy in Singapore, or the escalating trade war that could reshape North America’s economies. It was, instead, the story of a…

Today, we are all the fat, helpless raccoon who trapped himself in a sewer grate

Every now and then, the internet—like Bonnie Tyler before us—finds itself in need of a hero. Someone we can see ourselves in, someone who represents our highest hopes and dreams. Sometimes, it’s someone who does the thing we only dream about, like using their last day in a job to declare a high-profile “screw you” to…