Last night’s Oscars were intermittently funny, mostly fine, and, reportedly, not super highly viewed. Maybe next year they should pony up for some larger productions instead of just covering the stage in crystals? The Lonely Island tweeted out today that they “wrote a song for this year’s Oscars that was overly ambitious (expensive and a logistical nightmare) so it wasn’t produced,” and then proceeded to share the track’s storyboards, along with musical accompaniment, on YouTube. Whether or not this is actually how the track came to be, it does seem like it would’ve been impossible to mount, either onstage or taped, but also probably just airing this storyboard video would’ve been better than the whole “surprise a movie theater” bit.
Check it out below:
Like any good Lonely Island track, it is both impressive in its musicality—here mimicking a Broadway-style full-chorus number—and in its writing, fitting in very specific jokes for a host of super-successful, critically acclaimed movies that got prominent snubs. Wonder Woman and Thor show up to lament, “We both faced death it’s true / But at least Lady Bird got into NYU”; Aquaman muses why no one wants to bone him, a perfectly fuckable fish-man; “Vin Diesel” sings, about like you’d expect him to. All four Chrisses (Pine, Hemsworth, Pratt, Evans) even lend their voices for under-nominated Hollywood blockbusters. At the very least, the Academy should’ve bankrolled this thing just to get Fassbender to address the atrocity of The Snowman.