Photo: Matt Jelonek (Getty Images)

We can now add “passive aggressive kung-fu” to rapper Vince Staples’ considerable list of skills; the Big Fish Theory superstar launched a new GoFundMe account today, aimed at critics of his recent tours, and offering them a chance to pay him $2 million to just fuck off out of their lives altogether.


Addressing fans unhappy with the energy levels and “robot video game beats” of his recent performances, Staples calmly and politely laid out the details of his #GOMFD (i.e., “Get Off My Fucking Dick) campaign, including his intentions to use the money to “Move to Palmdale” and “Buy a Honda” in lieu of performing or releasing any more albums. Despite a little bit of anger bleeding in around the edges, Staples presents the whole thing in a determinedly cheerful fashion; “Get off of my dick, or fund my lifestyle; the choice is yours,” he chipperly concludes.

The campaign has currently raised $1,169.