10 times this season’s Bachelor was clearly written by a woman

This one is silly but I’m standing by it. The group date in Malta consists of the women learning how to be knights. Okay, I guess. Apparently, this includes “the sausage wheel,” where sausages dangling on strings spin through the air and the women have to catch them with only their mouths. This is horrifying for so many reasons.And yet, rather than simply watch his contestants do a humiliating activity from the perch of his lead role (like so many Bachelors before him), Joey decides to participate. After hearing the explanation of the sausage wheel, he says, “I’m playing. I’m not making them do this by themselves. I’m in.”He adds to the camera, “I couldn’t make the women do something I wouldn’t do myself.” This is swoon-worthy behavior.

On their one-on-one date in Spain, Joey and Rachel learn how to flamenco dance. Of course, this requires special shoes, and for the man that means high-heeled boots. These do not exactly go with Joey’s shorts, and he is well aware that he looks ridiculous. “No one can tell me I look good right now, it’s just impossible. But that’s okay,” he says to the camera.He admits he feels uncomfortable at first but clearly commits to the lesson and focuses on uplifting and complimenting Rachel. This is small but important! A woman is going to write a man who will step back and let her shine, as well as not lash out when he’s feeling insecure.

Later, on the evening portion of their date, Rachel opens up about her job as an ICU nurse. She says often partners of healthcare professionals struggle with the long hours and pressing demands. “I never want someone to feel uncomfortable with what I do as a career, but it is a huge part of me, and I can’t change my job.”Joey says it’s clear that Rachel takes a lot of pride in what she does and loves helping people. Rather than making the conversation about him, he tells her that she deserves a partner who will help her carry that load and acknowledges he has to be ready to take on the responsibility of supporting her. I do not need to explain the value of this one.

At the start of the week in Montreal, Joey really lays bare a lot of insecurities that he’s been feeling as the Bachelor. He’s afraid of women choosing to go home if they don’t like what they see when he opens up. “I’m trying to do my best to express how I feel and show who I am, but it’s hard to do that while also trying to be fun and be more light. It’s not who I am. I’m not this super energetic, here-we-go Joey. That’s not me.”As a fellow introvert, I feel this pain. But in this moment, it’s eating Joey up so badly that he gets a little teary. “Most of my life, I’ve been struggling with the fact that I don’t feel perfect. I feel like there’s a lot that’s wrong with me… I’ve always been my biggest critic, and I’m afraid of someone not accepting me for me.”Do I believe men have these insecurities? Of course. Have I ever heard one vocalize them? Absolutely not. This is some woman-written shit! A beautiful, expressive, well-dressed, green-eyed man who is afraid of letting someone in? Sounds like a fanfiction character to me.

Poor Lexi. After asking Joey about his preferred timeline for marriage and children, she decides to self-eliminate because she doesn’t have the luxury of waiting to try to have kids. In response to being dumped, on a show where he alone is supposed to be doing the dumping, Joey says, “I understand… This isn’t what I had in my head, or what I thought was going to happen. But you’re going to get everything you want, and you’ll make a remarkable mother.”A man responding to rejection with empathy and understanding? Even the romance writers out there might say, “Hm, a little unrealistic.”

Earlier in the season, Kelsey opened up to Joey about how her mother died of breast cancer 10 years ago. During their second one-to-one, she goes deeper on how that impacted her relationship with her dad. She says she runs to him both when she’s happy and she’s sad. “He lost the love of his life, but he also had five kids,” she explains tearfully. “I can’t imagine that situation where you’re devastated but so are all these people depending on you. And you just have to do your best and be there for them when you need people for you.” It’s an emotional conversation. Joey wipes her tears with the pad of his thumb, which is something I’ve read about men doing but have never before experienced or witnessed. He tells Kelsey her father sounds incredible.But it’s in his interview that he goes for the kill shot: “Her dad sounds like one amazing man. He’s someone she has a special connection and relationship with. Someone that she can really look up to, and he sounds like someone who would be a great father-in-law.”A great father-in-law. A great father-in-law?! Not just, “Oh yeah your dad sounds great,” but thinking about him as someone you would want to have a relationship with? No, I’m sorry, that’s fake.