So, not to gloat, but I toooold you so. Whitney won! And, if you don't like it, Whitney will stomp over to your fridge, extensions floating on a gust of wind of her own creation, and direct you to precisely which eggs you can suck.
When you think about it, and smile with your eyes, Whitney's ascension was inevitable—and not just because she gave the best flashback quote in the beginning of the episode. In true pageant style, it all came down to platforms. Tyra recognized that there has already been an ANTM role model for awkward talkers (Jaslene) so Anya couldn't win. And while Fatima's platform (female circumcision awareness) was a good one, Fatima herself couldn't sell it—after all she couldn't even sell mascara. Whitney and her platform of not being built like a bicycle frame was irresistible. Having the first plus-size, excuse me, full-figured ANTM winner, is way more interesting than having the first meeping one or stiff Somalian one. Whitney had to win.
But let's see what Wikipedia has to say about Whitney's win:
The worst winner of the series was Whitney Thompson, a 20 year-old ho from Atlantic Beach, Florida who is a stupid fatass. [1].
Oh, people who edit reality TV show wikipedia entries moments after the finale. Please don't ever change. (I wonder if the person who added that "fact" was one of the same people who told Whitney "You're not that fat." Their comments seem to have gone from backhanded to sucker-punch-right-in-the-face.)
Of course, there were more than a few fake-outs this episode, moments when it looked as if ANTM might have its first invisible winner, instead of its first normal-sized one. There was Tyra's comment about Anya's looks, "Beauty doesn't have to be cookie-cutter." (But it does have to be visible.) There was Paulina's summation of the glitter parade that was the Versace runway show: "I saw a budding high-fashion model, and a ham." (But there's nothing wrong with being a ham. Right, Tyra? This comment probably clinched it for Whitney in Tyra's mind.)And there was that weird smirk that Nigel gave Anya when Tyra announced he was going to be shooting the Seventeen spread. (Seriously. What was that?)