Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Rumer Willis, A Stripper Pole, & Leo DiCaprio Form Unstoppable Nexus Of Awful
In a time long long ago, in a land far far away, Demi Moore was an actress. Now she is the person that Ashton Kutcher sometimes takes pictures of to post to his Twitter. But on occasion, when the mood strikes her and a pole, support column, or leg of scaffolding is available, Demi Moore sinks back into the fog of time until suddenly it's 1996 and she's back on the set of Striptease again. "Excuse me. Are those Bugle Boy jeans you're wearing?" she wonders aloud (as was the custom at the time) to no one in particular. "Woo! Someone crank the Wild Orchid," she yells before crossing the room and launching herself onto the nearest pole. It is always a sad, strange spectacle—but no one, especially Ashton Kutcher, dares to tell her that it's 2010, and non-strip-club pole-dancing has long-cycled past "naughty fun" to "popular workout for moms" to "marker of extreme desperation."
Recently, though, Demi Moore took her pole-dancing reveries one step further. Either that or someone at Page Six is playing awful gossip item Mad Libs.