Bruce Campbell reveals "treatable" but not "curable" cancer diagnosis

Marking yet another disastrous news day in the year of our Lord 2026, Bruce Campbell took to Instagram today to announce that he has cancer. “These days, when someone is having a health issue, it’s referred to as ‘opportunity,’ so let’s go with that—I’m having one of those,” Campbell writes. “It’s also called a type of cancer that’s ‘treatable,’ not ‘curable.’ I apologize if that’s a shock—it was to me too.” The actor from countless cult classics, blockbuster movies, and Saturday afternoon television—not to mention, a fan favorite at conventions and the owner of one of cinema’s most iconic chins—announced that convention appearances and acting work need to “take a back seat to treatment” at the moment, and he has since canceled his upcoming appearances. “Big regrets on my part. Treatment needs and professional obligations don’t always go hand-in-hand.” However, if treatment goes well “over the summer,” the Maniac Cop star hopes to jump on a promotional tour for his new movie Ernie & Emma, which Campbell stars in, wrote, and directed, in the fall.  “I’m not trying to enlist sympathy—or advice—I just want to get ahead of this information in case false information gets out (which it will),” he writes.