24 Hours On Earth (BBC America, 9 p.m.): BBC Natural History cameras recently traveled to the four corners of the globe to capture a full day in the life of planet Earth—so the least you can do is give the fruits of their labor an hour of your time. The two-part miniseries captures a full spectrum of wildlife, much of it cute. But to Genevieve Valentine, there’s nothing cuter than the doc’s narrator, Matthew Macfadyen, describing the mating habits of the weedy seadragon. It’s adorable—and educational!
The Originals(The CW, 8 p.m.): Originals fans: Your efforts are valiant, but they’re still not enough to save your show from the stake that’s waiting somewhere down the line. What more does Rowan Kaiser have to do? Embed the Count Duckula theme in every review?
WE NOW PAUSE TO EMBED THE COUNT DUCKULA THEME IN THE BODY OF THIS EDITION OF WHAT’S ON TONIGHTAND NOW BACK TO ALSO NOTED
New Girl(Fox, 9 p.m.): Flat broke and in sudden legal trouble, Schmidt can only turn to the law firm of Miller & Bishop. When Erik Adams slipped and fell, Miller & Bishop got him back on his feet—and that was pretty much it. They helped him up off the ground.
Cougar Town(TBS, 10 p.m.): We think we may have been onto something with that Count Duckula thing. Let’s see if this does anything…
WITH APOLOGIES TO LES CHAPPELL, WHAT’S ON TONIGHT PRESENTS AN EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW OF TONIGHT’S COUGAR TOWN
Damn these vampires! They’re everywhere! They’re in New Orleans, they’re in a version of Transylvania overseen by anthropomorphic fowl, they’re in the TV adaptation of From Dusk Till Dawn, of which Sonia Saraiya says “It’s hard not to feel that this is a terrible waste of time.” Hear that, vampires? You’re wasting our time! Cut it out!
OR AT LEAST LEARN TO WASTE OUR TIME LIKE THE EXPOSITION-STUFFED INTRO TO DRAK PACK
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Chrisley Knows Best (USA, 10 p.m.): Who is Todd Chrisley and how did he make all of his money? No good guesses here, so we’re just going to assume Chrisley and his towheaded progeny run a highly successful private-investigation firm, like The Amazing Chan And The Chan Clan.
My Big Fat Geek Wedding (Syfy, 10 p.m.): The new Syfy reality series begins with elaborate medieval nuptials—a convenient excuse to shoehorn in a link to the theme sequence from The Adventures Of Don Coyote And Sancho Panda.
NHL Hockey: Capitals at Penguins (NBC Sports, 7:30 p.m.): Alex Ovechkin andCapitol Crittersversus Sidney Crosby and the Chilly Willies.
NEW ON HOME VIDEO
What the hell happened here? We started with a nature documentary, and ended up falling down a rabbit hole of Saturday-morning nostalgia. Is all this cheap pandering due to today’s DVD releases, which include the 1980s Dennis The Menace cartoon and a volume of The Flintstone Kids? Could it be because the mere mention of the words Dennis The Menace get the saucy saxophone of that show’s theme stuck in What’s On Tonight’s head for days on end? Could that saxophone be powering the best, catchiest cartoon theme of the 1980s?
OF COURSE NOT, BECAUSE THAT TITLE BELONGS TO HEATHCLIFFIN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Teen Wolf: We are nothing but animals. We cannot deny our basest instincts. We will offer a reminder that this Teen Wolf is not the first TV version of Teen Wolf—with no intention of trivializing Phil Dyess-Nugent’s work on the current Teen Wolf. It’s just that…
THERE WAS A TEEN WOLF CARTOON AND THIS IS ITS THEME SONG
