Chicago, float into a screening of It: Chapter Two early and for free

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Photo: Warner Bros. Entertainment
This is a public service announcement. Do not follow the demented clown with spittle all over its mouth into an abandoned house—or down a sewer drain, or onto a riverbank, or anywhere else. The clown says it has tickets to see It: Chapter Two early and for free, but the clown is lying. It just wants to bite down on your head with its freaky teeth and suck the Stephen King-loving soul out of your body. We repeat: The clown does not actually have It: Chapter Two tickets.