There are plenty of places people don’t want to be caught having an affair. Say in the bathroom of a Panera or their husband’s bed. But concerts are among the worst. Want to have a romantic tryst? Try avoiding the Nickelback or Katy Perry concerts. The last thing you want is your wife finding out you’ve been stanning Three Doors Down in addition to kissing your son’s geometry teacher. But hindsight is 20/20, and as one couple is finding out the hard way, Coldplay has a kiss cam.
As users of social media are likely already aware, Andy Byron, the CEO of Astonomer, was caught on the kisscam canoodling with his Chief People Officer, Kristin Cabot, at a Coldplay concert. The silver lining is that they won’t have to disclose their relationship to HR as the news has rocketed across social media. Now, users must live with the reality that the CEO of one of the industry leaders in DataOp platforms powered by Apache Airflow, a man they likely once considered “Daddy” (no relation to the Coldplay hit “Daddy”) or even “Zaddy,” is a Coldplay fan. Usually, The A.V. Club wouldn’t take such delight in public displays of schadenfreude, but what can one do when Coldplay is such a reliable source of search traffic?
Initially posted by TikTok user @instaagraace, the video features singer Chris Martin engaging in some innocent stage banter by pointing the concert cameras at the audience. Following the crowning of an overjoyed, unnamed birthday boy, Byron and Cabot can be seen gently swaying in blissful ignorance of a very near future wherein the world sees Byron performing the old “my girlfriend’s paying” routine with Cabot after what was surely a rockin’ rendition of “Viva La Vida.” Their revelry ends as Byron and Cabots’ respective piercing blue eyes gaze upon the circular jumbo tron, like a magic mirror showing them an encroaching reality where their personal lives are disrupted for, let’s say, the next few months. We can imagine the taunts now: “So, Andy, see any stars lately? Do they shine for you? Are they all yellow?” Just humiliating.
“Oh, look at these two,” Martin says as the couple turns in horror. “Either they’re having an affair or they’re just very shy.” Perhaps they’re just a little embarrassed to be seen having such a good time. Sadly, the stink of being outed as a Coldplay fan doesn’t wash out so easily.
