Dethklok,
Adult Swim's most brutal metal band—and star of the consistently
hilarious Metalocalypse—burst
into the real world last year with Dethalbum, which debuted higher on the Billboard charts
than anyone expected a cartoon band's album to debut. It's gone on to become
the best-selling death-metal album of all time, and the band—such as it
is—is in the midst of a tour behind it. Singer-guitarist/co-creator
Brendon Small and a band of metal ringers are playing the band's songs in front
of cartoon projections—smashing the real world together with fantasy (as
the best metal always does). Dethklok singer Nathan Explosion took time out
from the band's busy tour schedule to send us this report from the road, put
together shortly after a San Francisco show was cancelled due to an electrical
fire. We're hoping for more installments as the Dethklok tour progresses. Tour
dates after the diary…
The
dethbus is run by a combination of coal, gas, wood, bald eagles and a few other
endangered species and financially that's killing us. Offdensen (our manager)
has been trying to get us to "go green" and is looking into hybrid engines.
Pickles offered that we just paint the fuel green, which I think is a pretty
good idea though not helpful. Pickles you kick ass sometimes…
So we
did a show at the Fillmore in San Francisco and yes there was a small
electrical fire which we of course are used to. But because the audience hadn't
gotten finished with their "Pain Waiver" paperwork we had to evacuate the
venue. They were pretty fucking disappointed. And we nearly felt bad about it but—we
basically saved their lives. I mean we're heroes. We sat in the bus during the show cancellation riots and
congratulated ourselves for keeping our audience safe. At that moment Skwisgaar
looked out the window and saw the fans trampling on each other, and then a big
guy got thrown into traffic and pretty much exploded upon impact of an oncoming
garbage truck. We all giggled.
A few days
later we went back to the Fillmore and had what we're calling "the show of the
tour" it was pretty fucking great! We really are heroes! First we save their
lives and then we COME BACK and do the show of the tour? I just reread that
last sentence and I teared up a little thinking about how great my band
is… But only a few people have died at that show, I mean—I want to
feel bad—but then I think, "That must be what they wanted," and again I
get that warm feeling again.
Remind
me later and I'll tell you about the groupies who took a ride in our private
jet. Pickles was flying and he kept trying to hit the atmosphere (Murderface
bet him five hundred thousand dollars that he couldn't do it), and he nearly
got there until one of the ladies' fake tits exploded because of the pressure.
Boy what a mess! Saline splattered everywhere! All over the windows, the pizza
was ruined (kind of) but seriously, soooooo funny I shot beer through my nose…
Fuck, I love the road.
Nathan
Explosion
6/17:
Clutch Cargo, Pontiac MI
6/19:
House Of Blues, Cleveland OH
6/20: Kool
Haus, Toronto ON
6/21: MTL
Festival, Montreal QC
6/22: Town
Hall, Buffalo NY
6/24: The
Palladium, Worcester MA
6/25:
Nokia Theatre, New York NY
6/26:
Ram's Head, Baltimore MD
6/27:
Fillmore, Philadelphia PA
6/29:
House Of Blues, Myrtle Beach SC
6/30: Hard Rock Live, Orlando FL
7/1:
Jannus Landing, St. Petersburg FL
7/2: The
Tabernacle, Atlanta GA
7/4:
Meridian, Houston TX
7/5: House
Of Blues, Dallas TX
7/6: La
Zona Rosa, Austin TX