CSI: Miami isn't just an excuse to see how lovely David Caruso's hair looks in a South Beach sunset—although it does look quite lovely: like the soft cotton top of a giant Q-tip soaked through with iodine and left out in the sun. No, CSI: Miami is also a show that answers many of life's tough questions, like: "What do lawyers know?" "Can a dramatic score be a little too dramatic?" "Are cops quippy?" and "Can Diddy, né Sean Combs, be anything other than Diddy?"
It is a testament to the question-answering power of CSI: Miami that all of those questions are answered in the following minute and a half clip from tonight's episode:
Oh, so lawyers know the law! The writers could have gone a lot further with that:
Diddy: I know the law. You might even say it's my job. Just call me Sean Combs: Lawttorney At Law. [he sniffs the air] I know I am king. Are you?
[Diddy tosses a bottle of his fragrance I Am King to Caruso. Caruso, being Caruso, lets it fall to the floor. The bottle shatters.]
[The score plinks dramatically for another 10 minutes. Caruso puts on his aviators and walks around in the perpetual Miami sunset. There's a closeup of a knife wound. More dramatic plinking. End.]