The full trailer for Tom Hardy’s Venom wasn’t great, both because the monster himself looks kinda goofy and because Jenny Slate is definitely pronouncing symbiote wrong, but the internet works in mysterious ways and so what may look goofy to us may also look real good to you. As noticed by Uproxx, Polygon, and The Mary Sue, some horndogs out there are totally down to do some wild naked stuff with Venom, and while that’s not necessarily our bag, we do feel that it is our duty to tell the world about it so everyone knows there’s nothing wrong with feeling weirdly attracted to the slimy tooth monster with a giant tongue. (Oh wait, we totally get it now.)
Actually, it’s easy to make this a tongue thing, but Polygon says it has more to do with the culture of “monster erotica,” which involves fantasies about humans having sex with dragons, orcs, minotaurs, and whatever other fantasy creatures could reasonably be conceived of as “hot.” That’s why a common thread in the “Venom sure is hot” posts are about how Tom Hardy is not hot when he’s in his human form. People are only here for the monster, because unlike Tom Hardy, he’s made of black alien slime, he has a mouth big enough to fit your head in, and his tongue is basically a penis.
Now, if you’re into Tom Hardy undergoing bizarre transformations, we’d like to suggest you check out these photos of him as Al Capone. They’re not as scary, but they are certainly weird.