American Dad (Fox, 9:30 p.m.): Further proving that, yes, the series is really committed to the whole “Jeff abducted by aliens” arc, Hailey goes on a date with Snot. That would send shivers up Kevin McFarland’s spine even if the kid didn’t take his nickname from a mucous.
Mad Men (AMC, 10 p.m.): Remember last week when Peggy was talking about the “Lend me your ears” campaign like she was Don, and it was the best? Well now she’s having problems with a shiftless staff, which is also like Don and should also be the best. And if it’s not, Todd VanDerWerff will eat his Koss headphones.
Vikings (History, 10 p.m.): “Ragnar presents a proposal to King Aelle,” reads the synopsis. Hopefully it involves a PowerPoint presentation. Was there PowerPoint during viking times? If only Dennis Perkins could find this out by watching sort of cable channel devoted to telling stories exactly as they happened in the past.
The Borgias (Showtime, 10 p.m.): The Catholic Church’s recent Pope Francis-aided comeback gets another boost from the third-season première of The Borgias. By this time next year, Les Chappell bets all the cool kids will be poisoning their enemies in hopes of rising up the papacy ladder.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Farscape (11 a.m.): You see, the Delvians are the Farscape species with the blue skin, which is why the first of this week’s episodes is called “Rhapsody In Blue.” It is not, as Alasdair Wilkins first assumed, because of their species-wide love of George Gershwin.
The Simpsons (Classic) (3 p.m.): The series celebrated its 100th episode not with a bang, but rather with an intimate character study of one of its most dependable supporting players: Seymour Skinner. Nathan Rabin would’ve preferred if the milestone was marked by a visit to a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
The ’80s: The Decade That Made Us (National Geographic, 8 p.m.): Ignoring the 20-year rule of decade-based nostalgia and the existence of the U.S. and U.K. version of I Love The ’80s (and their myriad sequels), NatGeo forges boldly ahead with a soberer take on 10 years forever defined by John Hughes comedies, the Rubik’s Cube, and minor phenomenons like the fall of the Iron Curtain.
Naked Castaway (Discovery, 8 p.m.): Discovery’s newest programming gambit: Just sticking “naked” in the title of its reality shows. Before Naked And Afraid arrives this summer, here’s the chronicle of survivalist Ed Stafford playing Robinson Crusoe—naked Robinson Crusoe, that is.
2013 MTV Movie Awards (MTV, 9 p.m.): Freed from the tyranny of the Twilight franchise, the movie awards are now any movie’s game—though it’ll either be a Marvel superhero team, the savior of Gotham City, or a foul-mouthed teddy bear that makes off with the most popcorn tonight.
Nurse Jackie (Showtime, 9 p.m.): This half-hour show seemed to be turning a corner last year, but Phil Dyess-Nugent took one look at the latest season-première and decided it’s time to cut off Edie Falco’s pill-popping nurse. Read his review to find out why!
Toy Story 3 (Disney Channel, 8 p.m.): [Sniff.] What? [Sniffle.] It’s just really dusty in here. [Sob. Eyes watering.] And it’s allergy season. What are you staring at? Let’s move on. [Wipes away a tear while your back is turned.]
The Hills Have Eyes (2006) (IFC, 8:45 p.m.): This modern-day remake of Wes Craven’s classic grindhouse horrorshow is a complete piece of garbage—unless you’ve knocked back a few before the film (and continue to knock them back during the movie), and then it’s an insanely entertaining piece of garbage.
MLB Baseball: Orioles at Yankees (ESPN, 8 p.m.): We’ve been meaning to read the Will Leitch-penned “These Yankees can win!” piece that was teased on the cover of New York Magazine a few weeks back—but they keep on losing, so the point seems moot. Division rival Baltimore looks to extend that bit of procrastination.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Doctor Who (Saturday): Prepare for tonight’s Game Of Thrones by watching that show’s seafaring Onion Knight, Liam Cunningham, dive, dive, dive to the briny depths with fellow special guest stars Alasdair Wilkins and an Ice Warrior. Also: A totally unexpected and hilarious Ultravox allusion.
