The standout moment from the original Zombieland was the cameo from Bill Murray, who appeared as himself in zombie makeup as an ill-fated attempt to protect himself against the zombie apocalypse. It’s worked alright until Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Abigail Breslin, and Emma Stone showed up, when Eisenberg mistakenly killed Murray and set him up for a funny gag about Garfield. Ever since Zombieland came out, though, co-writers Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese have teased that there were other celebrity cameos they had in mind before Bill Murray came on board—most famously Patrick Swayze, who was diagnosed with cancer shortly before the film went into production, making the joke about him being a zombie a little too dark. So, Reese and Wernick came up with some alternate ideas, and now that we’re all stuck inside with nothing better to do, they’ve decided to start sharing those ideas on Twitter.
(Quick note: The character names changed between the script and the movie, with Harrelson’s character being Albuquerque, Eisenberg being Flagstaff, and Breslin being Stillwater. Stone’s character was Wichita the whole time.)
Here’s the original Swayze version (click through Wernick’s tweets for all of it):
Here’s the Sylvester Stallone version that was pitched and rejected after that (Reese knows how to do Twitter threads):
Here’s a Mark Hamill version featuring a joke that Wernick admits was later used for Deadpool 2 (again, click through for all of the tweets).
There are apparently more variations (Wernick has teased Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Bacon, Joe Pesci, and a few others), and the writers say they’ll keep posting script pages every day.