1. Hire Annie Leibovitz to shoot the promotional photos. More than any other photographer, she'll be able to breathe life into the "Year Of A Million Dreams" campaign–mostly by focusing on nightmares. But, hey, nightmares are dreams too. 2. By all means, get Oliver Platt and put him in the foreground. Few actors working today hold more sway over children than Oliver Platt. Most kids will empty their piggy banks and sell their favorite video games to support his projects. In fact, half the sales of the

Huff: Season One DVD were to people under 14. He's like the pied piper of the entertainment industry. 3. Put Lyle Lovett somewhere in the ad. Even better: Lyle Lovett disconcertingly crouching. 4. Enhance Beyonce's zombie-like expressions and dead-eyed stares by dressing her up as Alice In Wonderland. This way, that uncomfortable feeling of "Something's wrong here" that people get whenever they look at a picture of Beyonce can be attributed to what she's wearing, instead of to the vast, dark, echoing abyss behind her eyes. 5. Put all of these people in one weird photo together. This will confuse and hopefully frighten prospective consumers–which is exactly what you want. Afterall, people are highly motivated by fear, right?