Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, July 7. All times are Eastern.
Inside Amy Schumer (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): The description for tonight’s season finale notes that Amy has too many buttholes—actually, the easily scandalized chaps at TV Guide say that “Amy has too many buttonholes,” but still—and the episode title “Three Buttholes” provides a pretty shrewd guess as to how many is too many. (Definitely two, possibly one.) Either way, this kind of superfluous posterior anatomy is just taking into the 21st century the probing (ew, gross) questions already raised by that one Monty Python sketch, “A Man With Three Buttocks.”
Never let it be said Inside Amy Schumer isn’t prepared to get literary in its references. Kate Knibbs would never say that, for one.
Scream: The TV Series (MTV, 10 p.m.): Oh goodness, we’re still covering this shit? Well, apparently LaToya Ferguson is a glutton for punishment, as she’s willing to go another round with this show after last week’s “D-” opening. One might say there’s nowhere for the show to go but up, but we all know that’s a damn lie. Anyway, let’s look on the bright side and check out the synopsis: “A podcaster arrives in town to report on the past and present murders.” Oh, good bleeping grief.
Another Period (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): We would say this simultaneous pastiche of costume dramas and reality shows—one where tonight’s main plot sees Lillian and Beatrice staging mock funerals for their husbands—would be the silliest, most knowingly ridiculous thing on TV tonight, but Scream: The TV Series. Is. Right. There. Seriously, until Another Period builds an entire subplot around a damn visiting podcaster, it’s at best competing for second place. LaToya Ferguson—who is every damn where, apparently—feels that’s tough but fair.
Miles Raymer interviews Hannibal Burress, who discusses his upcoming Comedy Central show and hints at the full, awesome heights of his creative megalomania:
AVC: So you’ve been able to make kind of your dream show?
HB: I wouldn’t say my dream… Yeah! Yeah! One of my dream shows! My ultimate dream show wouldn’t be on Comedy Central. I don’t think we have the budget for my ultimate dream show.
Look, we have no idea, but we’re just going to assume his ultimate dream show is a shot-for-shot remake of Heaven’s Gate in which he plays all the parts. No, we’re not sure how that would work as an episodic series. Go ask Hannibal Burress. (Please don’t go ask Hannibal Burress.)
Seven Year Switch (FYI, 9 p.m.): Our long national nightmare of there being married couples who do not have the opportunity to work out their issues on basic cable will soon be over, and Seven Year Switch is doing its bit by having married couples swap spouses for a couple weeks to … well, we’re not totally clear how that’s supposed to help anyone. But hey! It totally (kind of) worked for those two New York Yankees pitchers.
Gangs, Guns, And Ganja (National Geographic, 9 p.m.): That title sounds amazing, but the channel—and we say this with no disrespect to the fine, nerdy folks at National Geographic—makes us think this can’t possibly live up to that bodacious promise. Let’s see: “An inside look at the Department of Fish and Game in California.” Yep.
Total Divas (E!, 9 p.m.): For those who like a slightly different variation on fake reality than your regulation WWE match, here’s the tie-in reality show featuring various WWE divas, one of whom is apparently going to spend this episode exploring “her dominatrix side.” Honestly, how did that plotline not get used until the fourth season premiere?
Hollywood Cycle (E!, 10 p.m.): One more goofy new reality series, this time about “an exclusive cycling studio”—in Hollywood, we guess, but it doesn’t especially matter—and some boring romance that flairs up between a couple people there. However, we’ve got one hell of a “Meanwhile” sentence coming your way. Buckle up for this one: “Meanwhile, an anniversary party erupts in a catfight when Nichelle confronts Sarafina about her stripper career.” We’re not television experts, but Stripping-Related Catfights feels like the stronger name for this show.
The Station Agent (TMC, 8 p.m.): This low-key comedy-drama was Peter Dinklage’s first starring role, and he’s as awesome in this as he is in pretty much everything. There’s a pretty great ensemble here, too: Patricia Clarkson and Bobby Cannavale are there to offer support, and Michelle Williams, John Slattery, and Joe Lo Truglio all show up as well. Maybe a little too quiet to be really essential, but definitely worth a look.
The Wolverine (HBO2, 10 p.m.): All right, after that measured, carefully qualified recommendation of a serious film like The Station Agent, it feels kind of dumb to gush too much about the second Wolverine spin-off movie and/or, what, sixth X-Men movie overall? But yeah, this one is really good. It only took a half-dozen tries, but between this and Days Of Future Past, the X-Men franchise has got it going on.
CONCACAF Gold Cup Soccer 2015: U.S. vs. Honduras (FS1, 9:30 p.m.): After the US Women’s National Team’s run to World Cup glory, who’s ready to keep the patriotism rolling with a little men’s soccer action? No, seriously, this won’t be a rude awakening at all.
WWE Raw: No big deal, but wrestling will bury us all.