It's 3 p.m., let’s watch some incredibly shitty vintage wrestling promos

Talking is not a professional wrestler’s first priority, but doing it well can certainly help. After all, it most certainly wasn’t Hulk Hogan’s in-ring technique that made him a star, and it’s no stretch to say that more people remember the promos of Dusty Rhodes, The Rock, and Ric Flair more than they do their move sets. Over the last few years, CM Punk changed the fabric of the industry with the now-iconic “pipe bomb,” while The Miz pretty much propelled himself back onto the company’s A-list with one explosive, off-the-cuff promo.

Mic-in-hand interviews and promos weren’t always the only way for a wrestler to flex their personality, however. Before social media and supplemental video content and backstage skits, wrestlers were often tasked with introducing their characters via pre-taped vignettes that would air during the likes of Monday Night Raw or WWF Superstars or any number of the franchise’s programs. They were especially common in the ‘80s and ‘90s, though they kept it up well into the 2000s. And, unless you were Mr. Perfect, they were almost always awful.

Below, please enjoy some of the best of the worst, beginning with the man who, a few years after this promo was filmed, would change wrestling forever as an architect of WCW’s nWo. In the WWF, however, he was a Cuban tough guy named Razor Ramon who refused to pay the bill, maing, after eating in front of a pair of plastic flamingos, maing.

Droz, on the other hand, is probably most famous for being the guy WWE CEO Vince McMahon dubbed “Puke” in 1999's controversial Beyond the Mat documentary. Here’s his first promo, a Real World-style clip where we see his namesake in action between shots of him playing with snakes and flicking his tongue around. “Well, you never know when some freaky, big-haired Jersey girl is gonna show up, man,” he says while polishing his guns. This shit is bananas.