Jamie-Lynn Spears Vs. Juno

By Amelie Gillette  |  December 19, 2007 | 6:51pm
Aux Features Hater

As you've probably heard by now, a few Christmas miracles are firmly lodged in the uteruses of a few very young celebrities, including that of Lily Allen and that of 16-year-old Nickelodeon star, Jamie-Lynn Spears. Also by now you've probably heard of the movie Juno, which is a funny, if sometimes overwhelmingly precious, story of a 16-year-old getting pregnant.

So how does a real-life teen pregnancy compare to a cinematic comedy one? Let's spot the differences!

Parental Reaction

Juno: Shock, followed by support. Stepmother deals with the stressful situation by assembling dog photo collages at a more-feverish-than-usual pace.

Jamie-Lynn Spears: Shock, followed by support, followed by probably cashing in on the story via OK! magazine. Mother's upcoming Christian parenting tome is the first dream crushed by the pregnancy.

Outsider Reaction

Juno: Tart and colorful, especially that store clerk, "What's the prognosis, fertile Myrtle?"

Jamie-Lynn Spears: Curt and business-like, especially from the children's network that employs Spears, Nickelodeon, "We respect Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well being."

Father-To-Be

Juno: Quiet, shy high-schooler who loves running track and orange tic-tacs. Aptly played by Michael Cera.

Jamie-Lynn Spears: Quiet (at least in Ok!) college student who loves statutory rape. Adequately played by Some Dude.

Soundtrack

Juno: Largely annoying, frequently overwhelming, and extremely decidedly indie. At times it's like being stuck in Zach Braff's earwax.

Jamie-Lynn Spears: The collective intake of breath of gossip readers, whatever depression sounds like.

Poster

Juno: Striking, cute, very orange

Jamie-Lynn Spears: Striking, sad, very gross

 
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