Finally doing what being consistently out- (but never over-) acted by the likes of Keira Knightley and Bill Nighy never could, Disney has tacitly admitted that it’s not including Johnny Depp in its plans to reboot the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise. To be fair, Disney exec Sean Bailey—whose dark domain covers all of the studio’s endlessly rejiggering live-action projects—didn’t outright say Captain Jack Sparrow was finally stumbling faux-drunkenly around in hell. But he also didn’t leap in to correct THR in a recent interview, when they suggested the new Pirates movie would be totally Depp-free.
Said Pirates reboot is being written by the Deadpool team of Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, and is being described by Bailey as “a kick in the pants” to the aging franchise. Which it probably needs, not only thanks to the lackluster response received by last year’s Dead Men Tell No Tales, but because—between Depp, Geoffrey Rush, and writer Terry Rossio—it’s become a real hidden treasure trove of dudes saying or being accused of doing terrible things. But finally, we can all breathe a sigh of relief, happy to know that this five-film, multi-million dollar movie adaptation of the weird boat cruise ride you go on when the line to Space Mountain is too long will finally get another shot at life, from the minds that brought you the Jungle Book reboot and The Nutcracker And The Four Realms, and sans the horror of watching the last of Depp’s talent rot, zombie-like, in real-time.