#NoDisrespectToSweden (the Ben Affleck of Scandinavia), but Kanye West has, once again, changed the cycling safety game, one-upping that country’s invisible bike helmet with the far more fashionable topless Kim Kardashian airbag. Kanye debuted his latest invention in this new instructional/karaoke backdrop video set to the soundtrack of “Bound 2,” the Yeezus album closer that already sounds like it was crafted specifically for Kanye to force Kim to perform a listless private striptease to—so why not add some sweet motorcycles and thundering stallions?
As they race across America’s most majestic screensavers, Kanye and Kim stare deeply into each other’s blank faces, their open yet obscured nudity and totally natural intimacy evoking the great love stories of our lifetime, like Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley. It all went down on that most sensuous of all daytime talk shows, Ellen, forcing Ellen to follow lyrics like, “I wanna fuck you on the sink” with some cheery, Ellen-esque chatter. “Hey, neat horses!” she probably said as they went to commercial.