Last night was an evening of stunning upsets, baffling decisions, and moments of painful regret—but enough about the shitty Dexter finale. It was also the Emmy Awards, the annual funeral for television when mourners gather to pay tribute to those we lost through heartfelt eulogies and songs loosely inspired by Liberace, and then hand out some awards, if we have time. In case you were too busy watching Breaking Bad to watch Breaking Bad win for being the kind of show you’d ignore the Emmys for without a second thought, the full list of nominees and winners (in bold) is below.
To truly recreate the experience of watching the ceremony, pause after reading every few categories to listen to the entirety of Elton John’s Blue Moves, go stand awkwardly next to Shemar Moore, interpret your favorite series with a breakdance, or just sit quietly and think about death. (It spares no one.) Then get on Twitter and make the joke someone probably already made, wondering about the incensed speech The Newsroom's Will McAvoy will make about the injustice of Jeff Daniels winning over Bryan Cranston or Jon Hamm, sometime in its fourth season.
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Hugh Bonneville, Downton Abbey Damian Lewis, Homeland Kevin Spacey, House Of Cards
Jon Hamm, Mad Men Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA Vera Farmiga, Bates Motel Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey Claire Danes, Homeland Robin Wright, House Of Cards
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Connie Britton, Nashville
Kerry Washington, Scandal
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA Bobby Cannavale, Boardwalk Empire Jonathan Banks, Breaking Bad Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad Jim Carter, Downton Abbey Peter Dinklage, Game Of Thrones
Mandy Patinkin, Homeland
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey Emilia Clarke, Game Of Thrones Christine Baranski, The Good Wife Morena Baccarin, Homeland Christina Hendricks, Mad Men
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY Jason Bateman, Arrested Development Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory Matt LeBlanc, Episodes Don Cheadle, House Of Lies Louis C.K., Louie Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY Laura Dern, Enlightened Lena Dunham, Girls Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie Amy Poehler, Parks And Recreation Tina Fey, 30 Rock Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY Adam Driver, Girls Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family Ed O’Neill, Modern Family Ty Burrell, Modern Family Bill Hader, Saturday Night Live Tony Hale, Veep
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory Jane Lynch, Glee
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family Julie Bowen, Modern Family Merritt Wever, Nurse Jackie Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock Anna Chlumsky, Veep
OUTSTANDING MOVIE OR MINISERIES American Horror Story: Asylum Behind The Candelabra The Bible Phil Spector Political Animals Top Of The Lake
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE Michael Douglas, Behind The Candelabra Matt Damon, Behind The Candelabra Toby Jones, The Girl
Benedict Cumberbatch, Parade’s End
Al Pacino, Phil Spector
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN MINISERIES OR MOVIE Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Asylum Laura Linney, The Big C: Hereafter Helen Mirren, Phil Spector Sigourney Weaver, Political Animals Elisabeth Moss, Top Of The Lake
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE James Cromwell, American Horror Story: Asylum Zachary Quinto, American Horror Story: Asylum
Scott Bakula, Behind The Candelabra
John Benjamin Hickey, The Big C: Hereafter Peter Mullan, Top Of The Lake
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Asylum
Imelda Staunton, The Girl Ellen Burstyn, Political Animals Charlotte Rampling, Restless Alfre Woodard, Steel Magnolias
OUTSTANDING DIRECTING, DRAMA SERIES Tim Van Patten, Boardwalk Empire
Michelle MacLaren, Breaking Bad
Jeremy Webb, Downton Abbey
Lesli Linka Glatter, Homeland David Fincher, House Of Cards
OUTSTANDING DIRECTING, COMEDY SERIES Lena Dunham, Girls (“On All Fours”)
Paris Barclay, Glee (“Diva”)
Louis C.K., Louie (“New Year’s Eve”) Gail Mancuso, Modern Family (“Arrested”) Beth McCarthy-Miller, 30 Rock
OUTSTANDING DIRECTING, MINI-SERIES OR TV MOVIE Steven Soderbergh, Behind The Candelabra Julian Jarrold, The Girl
David Mamet, Phil Spector
Allison Anders, Ring Of Fire
Jane Campion and Garth Davis, Top Of The Lake
OUTSTANDING WRITING, DRAMA SERIES George Mastras, Breaking Bad (“Dead Freight”)
Thomas Schnauz, Breaking Bad (“Say My Name”)
Julian Fellowes, Downton Abbey (Episode 4)
David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, Game Of Thrones (“The Rains Of Castamere”) Henry Bromell, Homeland (“Q&A”)
OUTSTANDING WRITING, COMEDY SERIES Jeffrey Klarik, Episodes (Episode 209)
Louis C.K. and Pamela Adlon, Louie (“Daddy’s Girlfriend Part 1”)
Greg Daniels, The Office (Finale)
Jack Burditt and Robert Carlock, 30 Rock (“Hogcock!”) Tina Fey and Tracey Wigfield, 30 Rock (“Last Lunch”)
OUTSTANDING WRITING, MINI-SERIES OR TV MOVIE Richard LaGravenese, Behind The Candelabra Abi Morgan, The Hour Tom Stoppard, Parade’s End
David Mamet, Phil Spector
Jane Campion and Gerard Lee, Top Of The Lake
INEXPLICABLE AND INCREDIBLY UNNECESSARY DANCE BREAK!
OUTSTANDING REALITY COMPETITION The Amazing Race Dancing With The Stars Project Runway So You Think You Can Dance Top Chef The Voice
OUTSTANDING VARIETY SERIES The Colbert Report The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Jimmy Kimmel Live Late Night With Jimmy Fallon Real Time With Bill Maher Saturday Night Live
OUTSTANDING DIRECTING, VARIETY SERIES James Hoskinson, The Colbert Report
Chuck O’Neil, The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Andy Fisher, Jimmy Kimmel Live
Jerry Foley, Late Show With David Letterman
Jonathan Krisel, Portlandia Don Roy King, Saturday Night Live
OUTSTANDING WRITING, VARIETY SERIES The Colbert Report The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Portlandia Real Time With Bill Maher Saturday Night Live
OUTSTANDING CHOREOGRAPHY Derek Hough and Allison Holker, Dancing With The Stars Derek Hough, Dancing With The Stars Warren Carlyle, Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Carousel Sonya Tayeh, So You Think You Can Dance
Mandy Jo Moore, So You Think You Can Dance
Napoleon Dumo and Tabitha Dumo, So You Think You Can Dance Travis Wall, So You Think You Can Dance
