As we’ve previously noted, La Lohan is now on Cameo.
The world is an ever-changing thing, and as whatever the hell is going on with GameStop and AMC reminds us, the value of an item, company, or service can vary wildly for reasons that have nothing to do with, well, anything. All that is to say that the price of a Lindsay Lohan Cameo is now $400, but they’re also currently half-off. So, $200. And this week, one TikTok user really got her money’s worth. No, really, this is lovely:
Wonderful, no? A thoughtful, empathetic response. Well done, Lindsay. The video has since gone viral, and the TikToker in question has since posted a follow-up indicating that she took the warm advice of the pop star behind the 2004 hit “Rumors” to heart, and has since come out to her parents, who took it well and luckily did not find out by visiting the website of E! Entertainment News. A happy ending, in this economy! What a novelty.
And hey, that happy ending still holds, even though things have since gotten kind of weird. Variety reports that Lohan has since contacted Alana (who told the publication that she prefer her last name be withheld) to ask her to take down a video that, uh, constitutes the best press the star of The Parent Trap has had in years, because it was meant to be private, which is, uh, also not how Cameo works. Per Variety:
Alana told Variety that she had gotten a message from the Lindsay Lohan Cameo account asking her to take the video down. A screenshot of the request said: “Hi! Just wanted to ask if you could take the cameo down because it was private for your use only.”
A representative for Lohan did not immediately respond to a request for comment, but Variety confirmed that the message came from Lohan. A representative for Cameo told Variety, “The user has a license to share the unedited video.”
Listen, Lindsay told the world way back in 2004 that she was tired of rumors starting, was sick of being followed, was tired of people lying, saying what they want about her. Why can’t they back up off her? Why can’t they let her live? (We’d like to note here that we, of course, remembered these lyrics vividly, but also checked to make sure we were remembering correctly, and that’s how we learned that there’s a Genius page for “Rumors,” the 2004 debut single from Lindsay Lohan’s 2004 debut album, Speak, an album by Lindsay Lohan.)
But Lindsay, these are not rumors! These are facts, and they are facts that cast you in an entirely flattering light! What gives? Are they just really opposed to judges for Australia’s version of The Masked Singer helping young women come out to their parents? Does good press make you feel weird? Is it simply not on brand? It’s that last one, isn’t it? Lindsay, you did a nice thing and you got paid for it. This is good. It’s even grool. For god’s sake, take the W.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org