The A.V. Club's fortified compound was inundated with Napoleon Dynamite crap this week. Specifically, we received multiple copies of the new special edition DVD (or, excuse me, ""like, the best special edition ever!" says the package) –and to get our attention, 20th Century Fox included a Napoleon Dynamite talking doll. It's a roughly 6-inch figurine on a plastic platform that says 18 of Napoleon's quips when you press a button. The package's hyperbole promises it will "have you and your friends laughing for hours. Sweet!" (The funniest part is the Urban Outfitters price tag on it–$18. Apparently, Fox had to pay for these or at least go through Urban Outfitters.)
I really liked Napoleon Dynamite, but I've grown weary of it. I still enjoy the film itself, but mass commodifcation has turned its quirks into annoying novelty-store ephemera. It began when I noticed Target was selling "Vote For Pedro" shirts. As I left the grocery store the other day, I noticed the sticker vending machine was selling "TATER TOTS RULE!" stickers, which I suspect are linked to the movie. Somewhere, there's a cabal of marketing hacks desperately brainstorming ideas for more crap to sell. "C'mon, people, Hot Topic's got a whole Napoleon Dynamite section now!"
Do you need more Napoleon Dynamite merchandise? You're in luck!
— The Complete Quote Book
— Mad Libs
— Talking pen
— Taming A Liger: Unexpected Spiritual Lessons From Napoleon Dynamite, a book by Jeff Dunn and Adam Palmer
— Napoleon in Prom Suit doll
— A whole line of ringer T-shirts, tanktops, sleeveless shirts, and hats
— Academic wall calendar
— A flip book of Napoleon dancing
— Action figures of Napoleon, Kip, Napoleon & Tina, and Uncle Rico throwing the steak (OK, well, that one's awesome—and I can't hate on these too much because Todd McFarlane did them)