Human coathanger and Florida Senator Marco Rubio recently attended a meeting with some colleagues to discuss paid family leave, and joining the elected officials at the meeting was unelected nepotism beneficiary Ivanka Trump. Trump, who has almost certainly had to explain to her father that “paid family leave” isn’t the buyout you give your ex-wives to never show their faces again, greeted the presidential also-ran with the kind of keep-your-distance chill the Trump family usually extends to anyone in a lower income bracket, but Rubio wasn’t having it. So naturally, in a display of the very regular average-Joe behavior that makes both these people so warm and relatable to the American public, the two of them exchanged what their advisors almost certainly assured them is known in common parlance as a “hug.”
In addition to being a demonstration of Rubio’s inability to ever look like his body hasn’t just recently been taken over by miniature aliens who are still figuring out how to work the controls, the picture of this exchange is what the internet likes to refer to as “an opportunity.” Within minutes, exactly what you would expect to happen began happening, and a good time was had by all—presumably save Marco Rubio, who last remembers experiencing a sensation called “fun” sometime around 1986.
Normally, that would be the end of it. But because Marco Rubio is a gift that keeps on giving (mostly tax cuts for the rich and increased pollution in our air and water, but also gaffes), he took to social media to try and “spin” the event via what he seems to believe is a humorous send-up—again, “humor” being something he exhaustively researched for a few hours and is pretty sure he’s got a handle on.