On its 30th anniversary, debunking Teen Wolf’s greatest rumor (yes, it’s the penis thing)

By Rob Dean | August 23, 2015 | 5:00am

Aux Features Film

On its 30th anniversary, debunking Teen Wolf’s greatest rumor (yes, it’s the penis thing)

On August 23, 1985, the world was delighted by the antics of an awkward teen who uses his newfound werewolf powers to excel at the wolfiest of sports—basketball. Teen Wolf was a hit for Michael J. Fox, and led to a great many things: a sequel with Jason Bateman, a Saturday morning cartoon show, a secret spinoff movie, a surprisingly decent MTV supernatural drama series, and one of the most enduring urban legends in film history. That urban legend has to do with the end of the film, once Scott Howard has won the basketball game and everyone is excited and races from the bleachers to celebrate. All but one conspicuous onlooker, who appears to be showing off more than simple school spirit. There’s long been an urban legend that at the end of Teen Wolf, one extra flashes his penis while everyone else is celebrating. As described in one of Family Guy’s Star Wars specials:

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But is that what actually happens? If one can’t trust H. Jon Benjamin as Yoda, then what else is no longer sacred? Just what is actually happening in the closing shot of this 1985 comedy?

Turning to YouTube, there are at least six different videos, all of varying qualities, capturing the moment. The best of the lot is easily the following one, with the highest clarity for all to see:

For those uninterested in the sweet serenading music of the film and don’t want to watch the clip, here’s the important screengrab:

So what are viewers to make of this? It would appear there is no penis, unless that penis is blindingly white. In fact, many theorists—and yes, there are Teen Wolf peen theorists out there—believe the actor in question to be a woman, based on his/her build and appearance. That much can’t be proven, or disproven, so it remains part of the mystery. Sadly, it would appear there is no penis in the closing moments of Teen Wolf, leaving it to be merely a high school romp trafficking in awkward racial stereotypes for “werewolf powers” that ultimately teaches kids to be themselves, even when they could be a weird dog-looking werewolf thing. And now, the best montage song ever (non-Rocky IV division) to close it all out: