Let’s get this out of the way first: Rapper Post Malone almost certainly doesn’t order an enormous, ridiculous amount of shit from online delivery service Postmates just because they both have “Post” in their names. (After all, he doesn’t appear to have a similarly obsessive affection for Post cereal, post-expressionism, or the folksy, Norman Rockwell-peddling bullshit of The Saturday Evening Post.) But the Beerbongs And Bentleys rappers does have an undeniable hunger for having all sorts of shit gig economy’d to his door, apparently, reportedly spending a mind-blowing $40,000 on the service over the last year.
To be fair, a full fifth of that was for a single purchase: Malone apparently dropped $8,000 on a 10,000-piece order of Popeye’s famously moist and buttery biscuits for a party at Coachella this year. But while that one is hard to fault—and suddenly we’re very hungry—it was just one of over 600 orders Malone has apparently made with the company while on tour and in the studio. That’s per Postmates itself, which featured its “No.1 most-dedicated customer” in the second installment of its “How much money do famous people give us” Medium series, “The Receipt.” Although his orders include the expected thousands of dollars on party supplies like booze, rolling papers, and, of course, plastic cups, Malone’s also got more highbrow tastes, too. Per Page Six, at one point he apparently ordered his personal delivery drone to go to Target and get “The most expensive chess board they have,” even if we’re kind of surprised he didn’t just hire a bunch of off-hours Lyft drivers to come over and act as his human pieces, Battle Chess-style, instead.
What can we say? When capitalism works, it really, really works.