Rich Star Wars nerds can fly to France, see The Force Awakens two days early

By Alex McLevy | November 2, 2015 | 7:30pm

Aux Features Film

Something tells us Air France knows the power of the dark side of the Force—it knows the power of exploiting Star Wars nerds for profit, at least. The company is touting a deal in which it will fly you to Paris, where you will be driven directly to a theater to watch Star Wars: The Force Awakens on December 16, two whole days before it opens in the U.S., something for which it’s definitely worth going into debt. Just think of all those hours you can taunt your friends about knowing the plot first! Well, after a night in a hotel, and then flying home, that is. And after that, there’ll probably be some jag lag, so you’ll need to sleep. But still—like a good six hours of bragging rights, yeah? Take that, Dave in Marketing. You’re bantha fodder to us, pal.

Yes, simply by booking a flight now (we just ran a quick test, and you’re in luck—flying out the 15th and getting home on the 18th is only going to run you a little over $2,100), you’ll be taken straight from the airport to a EuropaCorp Cinemas theater, where you will watch J.J. Abrams’ film in English, thank you very much. ”You will remember your movie experience for a lifetime!” the site promises, which, considering the presumed rate of interest on your credit card, it’s a warning you should take to heart. And don’t try pulling any of that “but I’m just on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan” nonsense, because Air France knows why you’re wearing that “Han Shot First” hoodie.