It’s one of those general maxims of online life that anybody who says they’re quitting social media probably isn’t, especially if they’re a high-profile person in the process of being yelled at by most of the rest of the internet. Even so, Roseanne Barr’s decision to “leave Twitter” this afternoon, after people got mad at her for comparing a former Obama administration adviser to an “ape,” was short even by the standards of celebrity tantrums. Barr was back within hours of her ABC show getting canceled over the “repugnant” comments that she’s since deleted, tweeting out and retweeting exactly the sorts of things you think she would—including, admittedly, a few calls for people not to defend her “unforgiveable” joke, mixed in with retweets of people seeming to do exactly that—and honestly, folks, we’re pretty tired tonight, so can we just give this one a pass and post some cute pictures of doggos instead?
Like, wouldn’t you rather look at this little fella instead of reading about a famous comedian’s multiple attempts to quote people justifying her racist “joke,” including multiple retweets from people trying to explain why calling a black woman a monkey isn’t some racist-as-fuck bigoted shit?
Look at these pups! At no point have any of these dogs ever retweeted people calling for The View’s Joy Behar to be fired out of some misguided urge toward “equanimity” because she talked shit about Christians once. They’ve definitely never done it a few hours after half-heartedly apologizing for their statements and supposedly leaving the service.
These are good dogs, is all we’re saying. These dogs would never endanger the livelihoods of a whole bunch of talented people who work for them by attacking someone for no goddamned reason, then spending the rest of their day trying to explain why their lousy behavior was, in some way or another, actually okay. Because they’re dogs. And dogs are fundamentally decent.
PUPDATE, 11:43 p.m.: Per a request from the comments, here are some Twitter pictures of cute cats that you can also look at instead of any of Roseanne Barr’s resurgent tweets or retweets. Never let it be said we’re not performing service journalism here.