Wait, The CW held its upfronts at fucking Madison Square Garden? And it featured a concert from Katy Perry? Are they really selling enough Vampire Diaries beach towels that they can afford to do that while all the other networks slum it in the same hotel ballrooms that host Tony Robbins seminars? Well, okay then. Here’s what next year’s CW schedule will look like, with new shows in bold—all two of them, as The CW is mostly sticking with what works in 2010. (Click through to the original press release if you want to read spoilers on next year’s seasons of Gossip Girl, Supernatural, The Vampire Diaries, Smallville, Life Unexpected, 90210, and One Tree Hill.)
8:00-9:00 PM 90210
9:00-10:00 PM Gossip Girl
8:00-9:00 PM One Tree Hill
9:00-10:00 PM Life Unexpected
8:00-9:00 PM America’s Next Top Model
9:00-10:00 PM Hellcats: A “fun, energetic drama” set at a Southern university, where a young pre-law student (Bandslam’s Aly Michalka)—who’s described in the press release as “cool, hip, and alt”—loses her scholarship and is forced by the demands of good storytelling to join the cheerleading squad. High School Musical’s Ashley Tisdale co-stars as the obligatory alpha-blonde cheerleader who is way too into cheerleading, and who will probably have some sort of big emotional breakthrough by the end of the first season.
8:00-9:00 PM The Vampire Diaries
9:00-10:00 PM Nikita: Another update on La Femme Nikita, this time with “Jackie Chan protégé” Maggie Q as the titular female assassin who rebels against the U.S. government agency that created her and tries to stop their long-running covert operation of turning troubled teens into cold and efficient killers through peaceful protests and political filibustering. Just kidding: She kicks people in the face.
8:00-9:00 PM Smallville
9:00-10:00 PM Supernatural