This Week In Terrifying Hybrids

here, at your own discretion.)

Yelling at someone to buy your product is never a good strategy. And hiring Mario Cantone to shriek at people until they buy your product is even worse. It's like aversion therapy. I can't look at a bottle of that shampoo without hearing Cantone nasally screech out, "Yellow!" 3. Dumbells + Sparkly shorts + Bravo's new mission to make a reality show out of every profession = Workout

Jesus, Bravo, calm down.

I don't care how many times you run that "3% Body Fat 97% Drama" promo: Gyms are not interesting. Neither are personal trainers (no matter how spiky their hair). Move on to the next profession-based reality show. Farmers, maybe?

4. Rachael Ray + Probably some type of head injury = Rachael-isms

It's bad enough that Ray exists (now in

magazine form!), but do we have to pretend that she's complex? A glossary? I realize that when Ray giggles continuously, it may be hard to understand her, but relentless annoyingness needs no translation.

If you need a definition of the word Yum-O ("I say this if something is so good that "yum" just isn't enough of an exclamation. The accent is on the "O" as in, 'Oh! That is so good!'"), then you're probably illiterate, anyway, so it's a moot point.

And not everything has to have a T-shirt. Really. The website should be selling earplugs instead.