A guide to what we’re barely putting up with this week.
Hulu’s 13 Nights Of Elvira miniseries. There’s no reason to watch even one bad horror B-movie, let alone 13, without some campy commentary from the Mistress Of The Dark.
NBC’s forthcoming Marley & Me pilot. Awww. The dog may have died, but he was reincarnated as a sitcom.
Webcam kits, lenses, & more
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The anachronistic embedded music videos in American Horror Story: Freak Show. The Half-Girl, the World’s Tiniest Woman, the pinheads—all of them are easier to watch than Ryan Murphy’s love of ham-fisted sing-alongs.
Wendy’s trotting out Alfonso Ribeiro, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Ralph Macchio for its #BBQ4merica ad campaign. Makes sense: stars from the ’90s selling pulled-pork sandwiches that look like they’ve been sitting out since the ’90s.
Alexander Wang for H&M: In case you were looking for something to wear to the gym in a dystopian future, or, you know, a stocking hat that says “Wang.”
Bravo’s most unnecessary Housewives spin-off in a sea of Housewives spinoffs, Manzo’d With Children. What is a “Manzo” and why is it allowed to reproduce?
The return of Tori Spelling’s televised over-share, True Tori. Many celebrities tell the public they want to keep their personal lives personal. Tori Spelling might be the first celebrity who the public begs to keep her personal life personal.